No one wants to be blindsided by the person they love. We all know the worst type of breakup is the kind you don’t see coming. Fortunately, there are some warning signs to look out for that might signify the end of your relationship.

Here are six shocking signs your relationship might be heading for a breakup. 

1. Your Partner Is Suddenly Investing in Their Appearance

If your partner isn’t typically concerned with their physical appearance, a newfound obsession with it might throw you off. 

“A sudden new hobby, sport, dramatic weight loss, wardrobe reinvention, new haircut, change in make-up style, new cologne or perfume, all can indicate an awakening within that individual for a desire for change,” says Julian Bremner, Partner and Financial Arbitrator at Rayden Solicitors. “Whilst this change does not necessarily mean an affair, it is often an accompanying sign of a desire to be more attractive to the outside world, which could lead to an affair.”

Of course, just because someone embarks on a sudden fitness journey or changes their hair color doesn’t mean they’re cheating or moving toward a breakup. However, it could point to either insecurity or a desire to be seen, which could be missing in your relationship. 

2. Your Partner Acts Normal in Public but Aloof in Private

When your partner’s actions change depending on who’s around, they might be hiding their true feelings to save face.

“This can indicate that your partner has fallen into a ‘role,’” says Bremner. “He or she knows what is required when in company, and they play the part to perfection. However, once alone, if that partner reverts to not paying attention or, at worst, ignoring you, it may be a sign that they have internally moved on from you, and you should consider counselling.”

3. The Relationship Feels Transactional

Over time, long-term relationships face the risk of falling into ruts and becoming purely transactional. 

“This is terribly common in the breakdown of marriages. I constantly hear ‘we have just become good roommates,’” says Bremner. “If you are no longer finding time to spend time on you as a couple and have interests that are only enjoyed by you as a couple outside of your role as parents and providers, this can kill a marriage slowly and effectively.”

4. There’s a Sudden Increase in Work Demands or Business Travel

Just because your partner is suddenly working late or traveling for business doesn’t mean they’re having an affair or seeking an out. However, if they are constantly away or don’t consult you before booking long trips, this could be a red flag.

“If there are already problems in a relationship, the temptation to play away can be heavy,” Bremner explains. “Sudden working late or work trips provide an excellent cover as well as an opportunity to stray—particularly if there is a dalliance with a work colleague.”

5. Your Partner Is Constantly Taking ‘Boys’ Trips’ or ‘Girls’ Trips’

Similar to an increase in work trips, a sudden uptick in friend trips (especially ones that include heavy partying or long periods away from home) can indicate a disconnection or dissatisfaction in the relationship. 

“It is great for parties to have friendships outside of marriage and want to maintain those friendships,” Bremner points out. “The occasional boys’ trips or girls’ holidays are essential to individual wellbeing and can, generally, only benefit a marriage by allowing that party that independence. However, when these trips become more frequent or constant, then, like work trips above, they can provide cover for an affair.”

6. You’re Facing an Unexplained Loss of Sexual Intimacy

While sex certainly isn’t everything, it can play an important role in many relationships. If your sex life with your partner has suddenly gone downhill with no explanation, the issue might be deeper than you realize.

Of course, this doesn’t automatically mean your partner is cheating on you or plans to leave. Oftentimes, if your emotional connection is lacking, your sexual intimacy takes a hit as well. However, this requires an honest conversation with your partner.