Finally, a VICE jingle

So you’ve got an incredible song you made up stuck inside your head and unfortunately you have no idea how to get it out of there because you don’t even know which way to hold a guitar. You should ask this guy Andrew what to do. Andrew is one of those very few people who’s shamelessly talented, but still very, very nice. In fact, Andrew is so nice that he’s utilizing his talent to help poor idiots who have an idea, but without any know-how. For the last years he has been tirelessly writing songs on request on his home page.

This site functions according to a simple principle: The weirder, the better. Andrew can pride himself on having turned the collective madness of the internet into music. By now there are hundreds of different songs on his site, reaching from four seconds to four minutes and covering all sounds and genres and whatevers that you can think of. Andrew was Trent Reznor and an educated fish. He has written and performed the world’s first one-man touchpad opera, the first song in which 50 Cent meets Creed, and a Vice jingle he just wrote for us!

Plus, he was so nice to answer some of our questions. Did we mention that Andrew is incredibly nice?

Vice: For how long have you been composing songs on request? How did it all get started?

Andrew: I was 19 and couldn’t find any work so I put up an eBay auction saying that I would write a song for the highest bidder. Did that a few times and made a bit of cash so it was only logical that I turned it into a website.

What were the coolest requests you ever got?

I get so many all the time. Here’s one from this morning: “OK, I would like to hear a song about pirates, ninjas, space monkeys, dragons and magical unicorns… I would be very grateful and am eagerly waiting for the results.”

How many songs did you write by now? How many can you do in one week?

I can’t count them, there are hundreds. There have been times where I’ve done four or five in a day, but usually I don’t have that much time.

Did some people get angry about the songs you wrote for them?

If they did, they never told me.

Has anybody ever written a song for you?

Yeah, my wife!

Name three famous people that you’d love to write a song for (because they probably would have the greatest or wackiest idea when it comes to their request).

Definitely Salvador Dali. Mother Teresa. William Shatner.

Name three people you would never write a song for.

That’s tough… I like writing songs for people. I guess Constantine, Miss Piggy, and Dr. Phil.

Oh… why no song for Miss Piggy?

I think she would be kind of annoying to work for and probably has the worst taste in music ever.

You’re probably right.

Again, here’s the Vice jingle: