The Maloof Money Cup is going to be in NYC this summer and the impressive, 16,000 square-foot plaza being built for the contest is going to be left in Flushing for all us regular folk and our regular grandkids to hurt ourselves on for years to come. The official park designs came out last weekend, and, well, it’s actually not as big and scary as I thought it would be.

It’s 14 legendary New York spots recreated and thrown together in a circle, with an equatorial Exchange Place Gap (6) slicing through the middle. From the picture, it looks like that Exchange Place Gap is going to be a real pain in the ass. You have to ollie that thing every time you want to hit the stairs or the hubba? Am I missing something here?

It’s in Queens so I’m sure this place is going to be infested with kids and “cool dads.” Not that I have a problem with either of those people, but judging from the parks I’ve seen that are shaped sort of like this thing, those two demographics tend to congregate in a thick and badly dressed clusterfuck from the area spanning the Ziegfeld Ledge (14) to the Astral Fountain (1). This park will create a sort of bottleneck effect, essentially smushing the above mentioned peoples together at the bottom of the park with nowhere to go.

Yes, these children will be there, probably still holding their trophies, and you will be held liable if you run over them after that nosegrind down the Black Hubba (3) .

But I don’t want to be a downer before I see the real thing, and other than that stuff it looks pretty fun, even for old guys (like me) and pussies (like me) who don’t like to huck their carcasses down 15 stairs for a thrill. What do you think?

JONATHAN SMITH