The Signs as Vintage Rihanna Tweets

February 20, 2019, 3:42pm

Happy Rihanna Day!

It’s our Pisces queen’s 31st birthday, which means you are legally obligated to celebrate by breaking up with your boyfriend, rolling a fat blunt, and smoking it while listening to the entirety of ANTI (Deluxe).

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Five out of five scientists agree: The world is a better place because of Rihanna. A fashion pioneer, a happily single icon, an immortal beauty bringing makeup and lingerie to the masses…every aspect of Rihanna is worthy of praise and emulation. If you’re not spending today—and all days, honestly—diving into her style history, watching her revenge-killing music videos on loop, or setting a google alert for paparazzi photos of her with wine, you’re making a big mistake. Huge.

To celebrate Pisces season and our water sign princess, I dug into the unparalleled genius of Rihanna’s Twitter archive and am proud to present: the signs as vintage Rihanna tweets. Enjoy:

Aries

Every tongue that rises up against me shall fall!!!!!!
— Rihanna (@rihanna) October 7, 2012

Taurus

I ate like 7 mini churros lastnight! Like, why? I didnt have to go that far
— Rihanna (@rihanna) August 26, 2012

Gemini

https://twitter.com/rihanna/status/474795774652334080

Cancer

Never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes
— Rihanna (@rihanna) December 13, 2012

Leo

I don't get bitter, I just get better
— Rihanna (@rihanna) September 26, 2012

Virgo

FUCK U SATAN!!! Fuck right off!!!!!
— Rihanna (@rihanna) February 1, 2012

Libra

Mama gets to blackout TONIGHT!!!!
— Rihanna (@rihanna) December 15, 2012

Scorpio

11:11 I wish a muthaphucka would
— Rihanna (@rihanna) January 27, 2013

Sagittarius

Don't u. Ever. Get too. Comfortable
— Rihanna (@rihanna) August 22, 2012

Capricorn

List of things nobody got time for:
1. That!
— Rihanna (@rihanna) May 26, 2013

Aquarius

If you don't live your life, who the phuck will?
— Rihanna (@rihanna) December 13, 2012

Pisces

I'm up and all I wanna do is smoke! Is it too early? *tiptoes quietly to stashbox to avoid judgement*
— Rihanna (@rihanna) December 26, 2012

What's love without tragedy?!
— Rihanna (@rihanna) September 8, 2012

Bonus Tweets for Every Sign:

Boys will be boys!!! Cause they can't be men.
— Rihanna (@rihanna) January 11, 2013

Never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes
— Rihanna (@rihanna) December 13, 2012

Tagged:
astrology, Broadly Astrology, Broadly Horoscopes, Feminisme, horoscopes, Humor, pisces, Rihanna, Twitter

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