It’s Wednesday, February 20, and In-N-Out Is Pissed About Puma’s In-N-Out Sneakers

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we’ll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.

News

Sneakers and Burgers!
"Puma X In-N-Out Burger Cali-0 Drive Thru CC" •Blazing Yellow• | 16th February @afewstore | Shop Link: https://t.co/dj4VxkS8Xt#cali0 #pumacali0 #innoutburger pic.twitter.com/OF4yUh50D7

— AFEW STORE (@AFEWSTORE) February 15, 2019

And the winner is … Drumroll please …uhhh… drumstick please…*Ahem* … *Clears Throat … *Adjusts Mic* … HOT HONEY CHICKEN & WAFFLES! Watch for it to hit menus later this year! pic.twitter.com/pNUNojrX4r

— Papa Johns (@PapaJohns) February 19, 2019

• If you were wondering why this man, 25-year-old Steven Shrout of the Dallas area, was at a dog park wearing nothing but underwear and a generous coating of peanut butter, it’s apparently because he lost a fantasy football bet. If you were not wondering why a man was in a dog park wearing nothing but underwear and peanut butter, please don’t tell me anything personal about your life.
• Taste has published an in-depth history of scrapple, the world’s greatest food and the reason I will eventually move back to Philadelphia.

Not News

A UK study found that millennials spend “over £3,000 a year on coffee, socialising, food and clothes.” This appears to be another tired attempt to shame an arbitrary age bracket for struggling economically because of factors beyond their control. But this is particularly egregious and internally illogical, considering things like food and clothes are necessary expenses. I mean, it’s true that I could probably afford a down payment on a home if I never ate, but is that the new standard?

Something Nice

Tell me your Weirdest eating/drinking habit you had as a kid!
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I’ll go first: When I was like 8 years old, I used to carry a little bottle of apple cider vinegar around wherever I went, taking a swig every now and then like a lush w/his flask.

— Sam Sanders (@samsanders) February 17, 2019

What follows, if you click through, is nearly 6,000 discrete pieces of evidence that our parents put up with so much.

Buy This Beer

In honor of Carvel’s 85th birthday this year (sure), the ice cream company partnered with Captain Lawrence Brewing Co. on two special-edition beers inspired by Cookie Puss, their iconic ice cream cake character, whose name is a lot less notable if you first learned about it as a small child and then just accepted it as meaningless sounds for the rest of your life. The “thick and creamy Milkshake IPA” could well be good, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t come with a thin layer of crunchies buried inside.