TURN UP FOUR HOURS LATE TO WORK WITH A BIG EGG BAP AND A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES ON

You’re so hungover your legs are sweating, you’ve got a complicated Starbucks order than somehow cost £6, your commute only took 20 minutes because nobody else travels into town at 12PM, you’ve got two hot egg baps in a paper bag and you’re not afraid to eat them at your desk. You’re going to spend two hours eating from the communal Quality St. tin before you all get sent home early. Dinner is pizza eaten under a blanket in front of a load of episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Bed by 10PM, feel like shit at the weekend, go in next week to coast the last few working days ’til Christmas.

YOU HAVE WON THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY