Want a Healthy Relationship? Do This One Simple Thing.

No one likes conflict. We avoid hard conversations because we’re convinced they’ll blow up in our faces. But according to new research, talking honestly—even brutally so—might be the best thing you can do for your relationship.

In a University of Rochester study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, researchers asked 214 couples to talk about one uncomfortable thing they wanted their partner to change. Before speaking, each person wrote their request privately. Then they had to say it out loud on camera. Independent observers later compared what was said versus what was really felt—and rated just how honest they were being.

Even when people held back or softened their words, couples still came out of the conversation feeling better. More honesty led to higher relationship satisfaction, stronger motivation to change, and a noticeable boost in emotional well-being. And those effects weren’t short-lived—many couples were still feeling the benefits three months later. That awkward conversation you’ve been avoiding could be exactly what your relationship needs.

Brutal Honest Might Be the Healthiest Thing for Your Relationship

“This suggests our relationships can handle way more honesty than we give them credit for,” said the researchers. And you don’t need perfect communication skills, either. What mattered most was authenticity. Even when couples disagreed on how honest the convo was, the fact that one person felt heard still helped the relationship.

A lot of us try to protect our partners by holding back. We assume silence is kinder than confrontation. Maybe we even call it “grace.” But the study shows we tend to overestimate the fallout of honest conversations while underestimating how much they help. And it wasn’t like these couples were venting about socks on the floor—these were real issues people felt nervous to bring up.

Whether your delivery is blunt or soft, being honest matters more than nailing the tone. As long as your partner believes you’re being real with them, your relationship benefits.

So maybe it’s time to stop walking on eggshells. The conversations you’re afraid to have might actually be the ones that keep you close—and keep things authentic. Honesty might hurt in the moment, but long term? It’s how couples grow.