The only thing I can imagine being a bigger recruitment tool for the far-right than another referendum is if Corbyn tested the Queen's chin with a left-right combo outside The Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday.
And they're like, "I'm going to throw this over a fascist."
With Brexit fuelling discontent in Wales, Wheatus – confirmed Sons of Glyndwr – offer their support for independence while Nigel Farage fails to win over Merthyr.
In slightly more reassuring news, David Cameron is now so universally disliked he can't even buy a hot tub without it being a news item purely because no one wants him to enjoy anything :,)
Humans are railing so much gear it's affecting shrimp in rural Suffolk, but Pete Doherty has been hospitalised by a hedgehog so it all evens out.
From billionaires of the world uniting to restore Notre Dame to Jayne Secker's car-crash interview about renting, it's been a big week for brazen wealth inequality.
Scientists take the first photo of a black hole, while Assange gets nicked and a government website inadvertently sends people looking for information about bees to a list of escort services.
Plus, the delay of the porn ban, and the fact that sitting at desks is slowly murdering us. Lots to get through.
What's Gone On This Week: Toilet Paper Suppliers Are More Prepared for Brexit Than the British Government
Also, Lorraine Kelly avoids a £1.2 million tax bill after a judge ruled she has been performing the character of "Lorraine Kelly" on morning television.
Also a man was fined for "smashing a seagull to death in front of children" after it went for his chips in Weston-super-Mare.
And he can get fucked.