Not Fit To Print – Don’t Stalker

When we were making the Dos and Don’ts dolls, our industry liaisons warned us that the intentions behind Becky, our female Don’t, might not shine through so clearly with the Tomb Raider-and-Vampirella set. We were a little skeptical that anyone could be so completely tit-blind as to miss the bleach-fried hair and ill-founded enthusiasm for mainstream rap, but leave it to the internet to prove us extremely wrong. One of the guys at Gimix Toys (the company who makes them) decided it’d be a lark to give each of the figs their own myspace page, and was rewarded for his effort by being made the receiving end of the most oblivious cyber-stalking we have ever witnessed. It’d be one thing if this was just another case of unrequited man-doll affection, but check the second email (please note these are all from the same guy, over the space of a couple weeks), have a quick glance at Becky’s page, and try to conceive of a horniness so deep and pervasive it would drive a 29-year-old man to lay out his innermost feelings in the emails below without questioning why someone would name themselves Beckydon’tdoll and include an ad in which they, as a toy, were available for sale. Oh, internet. (This is where most gossip blogs or whatever would put in some line like, “And you thought romance was dead…” then a smiley.):

Email #1. “Hey I like your profile. Very interesting. I would love to talk to you and get to know you. If you’re interested get back to me. thanks.”

2. “Watsup. How are you? We should really talk some time. If you look like that girl in the picture than you are definitely my type.”

3. “How tall are you? Height/weight measurements if you don’t mind me asking.”

4. “I need a girl that’s horny with big tits to suck on. A girl that likes sucking dick.”

5. “I’ve got a 6- to 8-inch very thick dick and I need a woman that can handle me. I’m very horny for a woman like you that has monster boobs and dick-sucking lips and is ready to tear me apart.”

6. “Can you send me real pics? I wanna see pics of your face, of your boobs, and of your ass. And do you swallow?”

7. “Let’s keep in touch. I friend-requested you. But definitely get back to me =) Peace.”

8. “I love titfucking. Thats one reason i love big DD cups. I love being in a hot tub with a girl. I’ve never experienced that. And I would love to go skinnydipping together. I love to have her strip me nude in the pool and give me a blowjob and get really, really very freaky on me.”

9. “I also love going with a girl in the shower and rubbing me down and rubbing each other down. I really love getting my dick sucked too. I need some really good head. I’ve never experienced a girl swallowing me before with me orgasming with her lips around my dick. But that wouldn’t matter to me if she was uncomfortable.”

10. “One of my fantasies is I like a girl sitting on top of me riding me. And I like a girl on top of me riding her rubbing her DD cups in my face and letting me rub and suck on them. I would also love a girl to sit on top of me backwards and ride me and have my hands around her tits squeezing and rubbing her tits.”

11. “Anyway, you are pretty sexy and make me pretty horny. But if we don’t meet I promise I’m saying a prayer that you meet someone better and more studlier than I. I ll put in good thoughts for you.”

12. “Hey, watsup sexy.”

13. “Do you have a webcam? And would you mind if I had my hands around those tits of yours?”

14. “-Hey. Keep in touch… I really want to talk to you. You make me so horny.”

15. “OK, this is how it is. I come over and you come and squeeze me and grab my ass and my dick. And you start running your hand up my shirt and pull down my pants and suck my dick so intensely and go wild and freaky on me. And then you get on me and sit on my face and let me lick you till you cum. Then i suck on your titties and play with your titties with you rubbing all over me your tits in my face. then let me stick my dick in between them and let me get titfucked till i nut all over them. Then we get in the shower and soap each other down.”

16. “Hey do you have a round booty or what kind of booty? It doesnt matter. I  just like big boobs. As long as you’ll let me suck on your tits I’m happy.”