For many of us, spending time with our families can be challenging enough to endure on a regular day, much less during the holidays when the pressure to execute a “perfect” holiday can be overwhelming. The reality: Not everyone handles this pressure with grace. Sometimes the screw ups are our fault. Who hasn’t burned a turkey or had a little too much to drink, and said something they shouldn’t have? Other times we’re innocent bystanders to the dysfunction: contentious relatives, unruly pets, all-out food fights. What’s most important is that we can laugh about the insanity now (or at least walk away in one piece with a great story to tell).
We asked friends and co-workers about their most unhinged Thanksgiving dinners. Here’s what they said.
Videos by VICE
“Clogged in-law’s garbage disposal with carrots.” – Tom, 41
“Family decided ‘axe-throwing’ was new tradition.” – Jamie, 23

“Pissed dad left to Mexico mid-meal.” – Gracie, 19
“Grandmother threatened grandfather with turkey knife.” – Hunter, 25
“Turkey was still frozen at 5pm.” – Amy, 45
“Uncle shot while turkey hunting, survived.” – Ali, 25
“Brother mad sister married a dope.” – Tommy, 32
“Grandpa brought up abortion during dessert.” – Vinny, 20
“Blind uncle plunged hands into stuffing. – Natasha, 26
“Cooked turkey without knowing oven temperature.” – Lauren, 35
“Trump discussion turned family food fight.” – Elizabeth, 33
“Brother stuck fork in dad’s arm.” – Val, 34
“Sister spiked food with essential oils.” – Sarah, 28
“Brother sawed off half his pinky.” – Matt, 37

“I got my brownie batches mixed up.” – Zach, 35
“Fried turkey equals very burnt boyfriend.” – Kinsey, 35
“Grandmother shit her pants. I gagged.” – Keisha, 29
“Got drunk, peed on cop car.” – Eric, 42
“Methhead roommate washed turkey with soap.” – Eddie, 33
“Cousin brandished gun at my dad.” – Tara, 36
“Religious aunt put hex on me.” – Maria, 29
“Was appointed to cook. Burnt everything.” – Lynnie, 23
“Cat puked which made me puke.” – Kevin, 30
“Dog snatched turkey off the table.” – Mike, 18
“My in-laws microwaved the entire meal.” – Pete, 23
“Punched my brother over the wishbone.” – Dennis, 34
“Family screaming match over Harry Potter.” – Brianna, 28
“Ex got drunk, kissed my sister.” – Katie, 30
“Four words: crazy conspiracy theorist uncle.” – Jenelle, 32
“Got food poisoning from the turkey.” – Johnny, 33
“My parents took us to Arby’s.” – Louis, 40
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.
Follow Anna Goldfarb on Twitter.More
From VICE
-

Images by WWE / Collage by Haley Miller -

XNY/Star Max/GC Images -

Roy Rochlin/Getty Images for MTV -

(Photo By Raymond Boyd/Getty Images)
