When I make meatballs, I mix the meat, the cheese, the eggs, and the breadcrumbs until it's all just bound enough; I form perfectly-sized balls and bake them 'til brown, but not dry; I add them to a slow-simmered red sauce and I eat them with a *chef's kiss* as I exclaim to myself, with great personal satisfaction, an emphatic but non-problematic, "Mama mia!"
To my great disappointment, I have learned that despite my measured steps, my poor meatballs are missing a crucial element: the face of billionaire and presidential hopeful Mike Bloomberg. The Bloomberg campaign alerted me to this personal failure in a tweet before last night's democratic debate, where Bloomberg—much like my meatballs—was thoroughly roasted.
Much like Bloomberg's candidacy itself, the meatball recipe is obviously a joke—and a bad one at that. The meatball overlaid with Bloomberg's face has been one of the campaign's lingering memes, first posted in mid-January to our collective confusion. As we learned last week, the campaign has enlisted FuckJerry to create its meme marketing, a partnership we probably should have seen coming and which may just kill memes as a whole in the process (RIP).
But please, Bloomberg, campaigns are built on trust, not dank memes. After all, of all the faces in all the world that I could choose to see in my food, it would surely not be Bloomberg's.