A Three-Course Cannabis Feast with the Cops
We fought the law, and the law gave in by eating weed-infused octopus confit, steak with chimichurri, and peppermint patties with us. Happy 4/20.
This article originally appeared on MUNCHIES in April 2016.
Today is April 20, better known among marijuana connoisseurs as 4/20—the unofficial Cannabis Christmas. Now, urban lore would claim that 4/20 became a holiday due to the fact that "420" is a common police code for pot possession. Turns out, that just ain't so. (The association actually comes from a group of stoner kids in the 70s who used to get high at 4:20 PM on the dot each day.)
Thus freed from the fetters of false 420 folklore, cops should have nothing to fear when it comes to bud, right?
Well, something truly astounding happened when a couple of NYPD po-pos showed up at Brooklyn's hottest underground restaurant, where the chef was preparing a three-course menu of weed-infused delights...
"Nothing to see here, Officers! Just a stupidly succulent rib-eye, bound for a searingly hot pan and a couple of hungry diners.
Oh, that smell? That's just some local herbs we found down at the greenmarket. A bit skunky, aren't they?"
"As we pull back the cloche, you'll find a handsome quartet of smoked oysters, topped with a bit of ramp butter.
"Well, yes, that smoke sure does smell like weed, Officers. That stoner sous chef of mine is always stuffing his stash in my smoking gun by mistake."
"And for the rest of the first course, we have octopus that's been confited in cannabis oil—
"Er, I guess the jig is up, isn't it? Well, lock me up for serving a cephalopod in its highest form, dressed with celery and chickpeas.
"And right next to that, we have some laid-back latkes, topped with caviar and crème fraîche, that have been crisped up in a little cannaoil, too. I regret nothing!"
"Come close, Officers. Can't you just taste the flavor of a culinary cannabis revolution in here?"
"Yes, yes. Try some yourself, Officer! That's just my mom's recipe for good old-fashioned mac and cheese—greened up a bit with spinach, basil, and a generous knob of cannabutter, of course."
"And here I present the steak, which you must drizzle with a little bit of bright-green chimichurri sauce that's been prepared with marijuana olive oil. On the side, we have mashed root vegetables that have been lightened up with some weed-infused cream, and a spring vegetable salad dressed with toasted hazelnuts and yet more cannaoil.
"Are you starting to feel it, Officers? Are time and space beginning to melt like the perfectly tender beef in your mouth?"
"Ah, yes, now you're starting to unwind. This dessert course was practically made for you, Officers. We have weed brownies, of course. But just for you, we've whipped up some weed sugar-dusted doughnut holes, in honor of your great service to this city."
"Sharing is caring, Officers. Everyone wants a bite of our famous peppermint patties—made with cannabis-infused coconut oil, naturally."
"What can I say, Officers? I fought the law, but the law loves getting baked, just like everyone else."
DISCLAIMER: This article contains information about illegal substances, specifically the plant Cannabis and its derivative products. VICE Media LLC would like to emphasize that Cannabis is a controlled substance in many parts of the world, including North America. The use and cultivation of cannabis may carry heavy penalties.
- macaroni and cheese
- cooking with weed