Why Is This 'Sloth' Mask from 'The Goonies' Actually Just... an Ass?

Even if you haven't seen 'The Goonies' in years, you can probably see that this looks less like Sloth and more like a butt.


This Mexican Restaurant's Bonkers 'Avengers' Commercial Is the Best Thing You'll See Today

The combination of an enthusiastic restaurant owner, a Marvel supervillain, and some deliberate-but-benign copyright infringement is the highest form of art.


It's Disturbingly Common for Seagulls to Get Into Our Food Supply

A photo of a curry-covered seagull just went viral, but it isn't the first bird to end up in a vat of food at a factory.


Animals With Knives, Ranked

'Battle Beasts' IRL.


GREAT NEWS: You Can Now Pay $50 to Hang Out in a Cafe Full of Live Rats

“Cong-RATS, ladies and bRODENTS, all of your dreams will come true,” the Rat Bar’s event page says.


This 'Human Cheese' Is Made From Celebrity Skin Bacteria

If you've ever wanted to eat cheese made from Heston Blumenthal's crotch or Ruby Tandoh's nose, now's your chance!


Remember Jon Gosselin? You Can Party with Him at a Chili's This Weekend

Welcome to the most cursed Cinco de Mayo event of all time!


Man Mistakes Thin Lizzy Lyrics on Cheese Label for 'Threat of Mass Death'

Thin Lizzy’s “Angel of Death” hasn't made a lot of waves since the early 80s—until its lyrics appeared on a hunk of mozzarella.


Driver Learns the Hard Way that Durian Can Make You Fail a Breathalyzer Test

We’re not sure how eating durian can make you drive erratically, but it turns out it can confuse a Breathalyzer.


Chicago Man 'Fixes' Potholes by Filling Them with Giardiniera

He also considered using “just buckets of wet Italian beef.”


'Suspicious Object' Shuts Down Chicago Street, Turns Out to be a Chef Boyardee Can on Wheels

We stan the almost-sentient can of ravioli.


'Guacamole Cheese' Is a Thing Now, but It Shouldn't Be

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.