A Beginner’s Guide to Squirting

Pee before you start. Try having an orgasm to help you relax. Use a curved sex toy to reach your G-spot.

Feb 18 2021, 12:00pm
Advice on the finer points of having great sex.

Let’s get one thing out of the way: Squirting, which is a more casual way of saying “releasing fluid from your urethra (read: pee hole) in a sexual capacity,” is absolutely a real thing that people with vaginas are able to do. Vaginal fluids released during sex have been documented for 2,000 years, including in the hundreds-of-years-old Kama Sutra and other ancient sex manuals. Still, some people find the very concept of squirting to be mysterious or elusive—or believe it’s a trick when they see it in porn.

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Let’s figure out squirting once and for all. For instance: What’s the “fluid” in question here? Why do some people squirt easily, and others don’t? How do you do it if you never have before? All excellent questions. Here’s a comprehensive guide to what squirting actually is, what it’s like, and how to do it, with a little help from sex educators and regular people who swear that, yes, it’s real—and not only does it look hot, but it can feel amazing, too.

How does squirting work in terms of what’s happening with your body?

Squirting is when fluid is expelled from a person with a vagina’s urethra, usually because of stimulation of the G-spot. The G-spot is a small area about one-third to halfway inside the vagina, located on the vagina’s anterior (front) wall, toward the belly button. The urethra is the tube that carries urine from your bladder to the opening when you pee. It runs right above the vagina and is surrounded by tissues and glands called the urethral sponge. When a person with a vagina is aroused, their urethral sponge fills with blood and its glands fill with fluid, causing the G-spot to swell and feel firm, which is why it’s easier to feel and stimulate the G-spot when you’re turned on, and so, easier to squirt.

Give it to me straight: If you squirt out of your pee hole, what’s coming out is just pee, right?

The short version is: There’s no consensus, and most of the research about squirting is slightly old, relies on too-small sample groups, or is inconclusive (or all of the above). To complicate things further, some researchers and medical experts believe that squirting (which usually involves a clear, odorless, abundant fluid) is also a different fluid than vaginal ejaculate (a small amount of milky-white fluid). A 2011 study analyzed the chemical composition of the three fluids that came out of one person’s urethra during sexual stimulation: urine, squirt (the large amount of clear fluid that we’re more familiar with), and ejaculate. Researchers found major differences between the three, in terms of color, odor, chemical makeup, volume, origin, and so on. The ejaculate was described as a “scanty, thick, and whitish fluid” in the amount of about a teaspoon. It came from the female prostate (aka the Skene’s glands) and contained something called PSAs (prostate-specific antigens), which are commonly found in semen. The squirt, on the other hand, was a clear, abundant, odorless fluid that came from the bladder. So, while squirt and female ejaculate are different from each other, they are also “different from urine,” the study found. 

Sometimes squirting and ejaculation happen at separate times, and sometimes they happen together—meaning that, if you squirted, you’d likely see both the clear, abundant fluid and the small amount of white, milky, PSA-tinged fluid. (And what about the typical “wetness” we associate with arousal? That’s a different fluid altogether, which comes from your Bartholin glands, and is unrelated to squirting as it’s most often thought about and discussed.)

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Squirt does share similarities with diluted urine, including the presence of urea, creatinine, and uric acid, which are all waste products from the kidneys that are expelled when we pee. (A small 2015 studylike, “seven cis women” small—even claimed squirting was “an involuntary emission of urine.”) In porn as in life, the emission of a large amount of fluid can simply mean peeing, à la golden showers, which is also fine! As Allison Moon, sex educator and author of Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex, said, “Many of my students who have concerns about squirting are usually afraid of the ‘ick’ factor—specifically ‘What if it’s pee?’ My advice: interrogate that fear a bit. What if it is pee? What about that specifically freaks you out more than a different fluid? If it’s the mess or the smell or anything else, define it so you can better understand it. Then you can take steps to mitigate the ick factor and enjoy the pleasure instead.” 

How can I learn to squirt if it doesn’t happen for me automatically?

We’re not only here to debate the finer points of the fluids themselves, but also to help newcomers experience them firsthand, so let’s get down to it! 

As with any new skill, it’s often best to practice by yourself first before enlisting others. Squirting requires a little extra prep than you might be used to—but for a new-to-you way of coming, it's worth it, right? Before you start, make sure you’re hydrated (which is important in general for your sexual functioning, and also increases the body’s natural lubrication), your nails are trimmed, and your lube is within reach. If any resulting wetness is going to interfere with your enjoyment of the experience, head to the shower, grab a towel or two, or lay down a waterproof blanket. 

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You’ll also want to make sure to pee beforehand, according to Janet Hardy, co-author of The Ethical Slut. “Incipient squirting feels almost exactly like needing to pee. If you’re not confident that you’re not going to pee, your response to that feeling will be to clamp down,” she said. “But if you know you’re not going to wet the bed [with pee], you can relax, maybe push a little, and voilà!”

Fantasize about and do what reliably turns you on when you're masturbating before you attempt to squirt in order to get your body ready. Some people who talked to VICE even recommended coming before you focus on squirting. S., a 25-year-old cis, queer woman in Austin, said, “Usually it’s easier if I orgasm first. [Squirting after I come] is a continual feeling of release, like my orgasm extends through my whole body.” An orgasm will help relax you. It also means your G-spot will be firm and easier to find and your urethral sponge will swell. When you’re aroused, all of these areas press into and against the walls of the vaginal canal, especially the front anterior wall (remember: toward your belly button), which is the area most associated with squirting.

The urethral sponge is beyond the vaginal wall, meaning it’s not as easy to access as, say, the clitoris. If you can’t easily reach a finger or two into your vagina while lying on your back, try placing a pillow under your butt for leverage or getting on your knees and leaning all the way forward to reach your G-spot. If you still can’t quite get to it, an S-shaped or hooked sex toy should help you. Once you’ve found the G-spot, apply firm, consistent pressure with one or two fingers (or as many as you’d like) or the toy. Try pushing, making circles, or, if you’re using your fingers, doing a curling “come hither” motion. Stick to a steady rhythm and apply pretty heavy pressure. With your other hand, you might want to stimulate the clitoris, nipples, or other erogenous zones to help things along. If you feel like you have to pee as you go along, don’t worry—that’s why you did beforehand, and it means you’re probably on the right track.

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Some people who squirt say that vigorous movement and/or intense penetration helps them make it happen. Luke, a 34-year-old in Chicago who uses they/them pronouns, said, “Girth and speed in the penetrative department (in either orifice) combined with overwhelming external stimulation [makes squirting] a sure thing for me." The membrane between the rectum and vaginal canal is pretty thin, so you can still reach the G-spot through anal play. Some people even prefer G-spot stimulation from anal play because they find the indirect stimulation on their G-spot to be less intense and more pleasurable. "Just one or the other can work sometimes, too, if I'm using a strong vibe or a textured or curved dildo,” Luke said.

How does squirting feel in the moment?

“What makes learning how to squirt difficult for folks who don’t naturally do it is that it contradicts what many of us do when we have orgasms,” Moon said. “That is, many of us vagina owners squeeze and ‘pull’ up the energy to come. Squirting inverts that, encouraging us to relax and bear down.” 

S. also advised would-be squirters to push out and not pull in: “Relax into it and bear down on your pelvic floor,” she said. Another respondent, Rue, a cis woman in her 20s who lives in the Midwest, advised that a certain amount of retraining the body might be needed: “When you're close, you'll probably feel pressure like you have to pee. That's the sign to push, push, push. It will feel counterintuitive not only because our bodies tend to tense up as we orgasm, but we're also programmed to just not want to wet ourselves. So you kind of have to train your mind, as well as your body.”

How do I squirt with a partner?

Plenty of people are able to squirt during sex with other people. As mentioned in the solo play section, the same motions apply with partner play: a finger or two (or as many as you’d like) or an S-shaped toy inserted into the vaginal canal aimed toward the belly button will help stimulate the G-spot, Skene’s glands, and urethral sponge. 

Since penises and many dildos don’t tend to move in a “come hither” motion, penis-in-vagina intercourse might not provide the kind of direct, intense stimulation needed for squirting. If you’d like to give it a go anyway, try sex positions that involve shallower penetration to stimulate the G-spot, like spooning sex or the prone bone (aka rear entry, with the receiving partner on their stomach). 

Meg, a 40-year-old, cis bisexual woman in Brooklyn, said that having her partners touch her all over during sex helps her get there. “Once we’re having sex, clitoral and nipple stimulation, followed by intense penetration (of any kind), leads to [me] squirting enough to soak the mattress,” she said.

Like any sexual “first,” learning to squirt if you’ve never done so involves a certain amount of practice, exploration, and repetition. Remember that, like any other kind of good sex, the fun is in the journey, not the destination. And even if you don’t get soaked in the way you expected: At least now you’re intimately familiar with your G-spot, which you might find is more than enough of a reward.

Follow Anna Pulley on Twitter.

Tagged:

orgasms, G Spot, ejaculate, ejaculating, Squirting, Best You've Ever Had, g-spots

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