For as much as we know about the diapers astronauts have to wear, we don’t really know as much about space sex. Luckily, a former NASA employee wrote an article in Slate detailing everything she knows about space sex.

Laura Faye Tenenbaum argues that while the public demands more information on whether astronauts are having sex with each other in space, NASA has taken a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of policy when it comes to zero-gravity boning. As for masturbation in space, Vice has already covered that.

She argues that NASA wants to avoid even the mildest suggestion of scandal and wants to keep everything they do strictly about the betterment of mankind through the exploration of space. I guess learning more about whether scientists are having sex in space would become too much of a tawdry soap opera that would distract from the science of it all.

Tenenbaum writes that while NASA will never confirm whether scientists are having sex up there, anecdotally, she has received unconfirmed confirmations via knowing glances and awkward silences that speak volumes that astronauts were indeed having sex up there. When? Which ones? We may never know. But the people who work at NASA do, because try as you might, sex sometimes makes some distinct sounds that comms teams back on Earth can hear.

Microgravity means no “missionary position” in the traditional sense, though I imagine some crafty astronauts looking to innovate in the space sex space could figure it out. Tenenbaum theorizes that sex while floating in zero-g would be so impractical that it’s nearly impossible, so if astronauts were having sex, it would have to be in their quarters. Which are basically cabins the size of phone booths where they could strap themselves to the walls with Velcro if they wanted to have sex.

Of course, I imagine that would lead to associating the iconic sound of Velcro tearing with sexual activity which would make life back on earth just a little bit more fascinating for them.