Peace is awesome because in times of peace you simply find way more time to get laid and hang out than in times of war. Violent conflicts kind of suck because you could get hurt and/or hurt others. That’s why it’s sweet that there is a thing like the charts of peace, which give you an idea of who you should ideally be spending your time with. 

Vice Ambassador of New Zealand Vice: Hi. Congratulations for winning, which basically makes you the most peaceful country in the world. Jasper: Once We Were Warriors Yeah, I remember you wanted to slap me in the face once because I couldn’t remember your name. Have you ever beaten someone up? Sounds like the Ghandi approach to peace. “Taking stick.” What’s the international deal with you guys? Any action in Afghanistan or Iraq? No harsh feelings for your much cooler and better Australian neighbors? What could aggressive countries learn from New Zealand? the Haka So you dance before you consider starting a war? Seriously, Jasper, you guys deserve to win this.

Of course we really wanted to know what it’s like to bring up the rear too and we called the Iraqi Embassy. We couldn’t get a hold of anybody to have a little chat with and just ended up listening to their voicemail. It sounded pretty aggressive, I think.

FELIX NICKLAS