Buy This Half-Ton Transformers Wine Rack On Craiglist

June 20, 2012, 11:10am

All images via Craigslist.

Well, if this isn’t just the craziest damn living room furniture in history. An apparent crazy person in Phoenix built a wine rack slash giant freaking robot out of old automotive parts that literally takes up a living room. It weights half a ton. Now it’s for sale. (Thanks to Timothy Burke for sharing this one, and noting that one of the Craigslist keywords is “holy shit this is awesome.”)

Let me allow the seller to explain:

Videos by VICE

For the discerning individual who appreciates artwork and wine – you now have a great opportunity to meld those together into one piece of artwork that will display your bottle collection like no other wine rack. This will make you the talk of your wine club, HOA, alcoholics anonymous support group, etc…

…

SPECIFICATIONS
Height: 6 feet
Weight: Approx 1,000lbs
Material contents: Used transmission parts from automobiles and motorcycles. There are even parts on the statue that are stamped with the “Ford” logo
Bottle capacity: 32 bottles depending on size of bottle.

All parts used to artistically weld together this stunning piece of artwork have been dipped into a solution to neutralize and remove any oil, grime, or chemicals to ensure there are no corrosive chemicals left. The entire piece was then painted gun metal grey and then clear coated. It has blue LED lights that have been carefully wired into the body all along the leg and up into the torso to the top of the shoulder. There are also LED lights mounted in the “calf” of the leg.

Interested in buying this ridiculously awesome wine rack that will push you into celebrity status amongst your peers/neighborhood/human race?

Gimme a call at 602.459.4819.

How could you say no to that? Just imagine the next dinner party you have. Come on, join me and envision this for a second. You’re sitting there over a meal you spent all kinds of time cooking for your guests and it turns out they’re all just a bunch of lameass jerks. What do you do? Have a TRANSFORMER machine-gun some Pinot Grigiot into their goddamn faces to lighten up the mood, that’s what! I’ve never seen a device more perfect for literally-militant binge drinking than this monster. Is that healthy? No. Are your children (or you, for that matter) going to be able to see this thing in the dark and not be scarred for life? No. But is it worth it? God yes.