Don’t Expect to Date Gen Zers If You Get These Questions Wrong

Forget small talk. A growing number of singles, particularly Gen Z, are skipping “what’s your favorite movie?” with potential dates and going straight for the jugular with questions like: How much do you make? What’s your political stance? How’s your relationship with your parents?

According to data from various sources, including the dating app happn, 18 percent of Gen Z adults say they’d ask these kinds of deep, divisive questions before even agreeing to meet in person. Another 20 percent are fine with bringing them up on the first date, it would be a defining factor to know if things would move forward.

In other words, if you’re dating someone under 27, you might want to be ready to discuss your credit score and childhood trauma before appetizers arrive.

The approach seems to be about skipping the performative politeness and figuring out compatibility right away. The days of flirtatious chit chat are gone. Why waste time matching vibes when you can go straight to the red flags?

While this seems to be the M.O. of most Gen Z adults, older generations aren’t exactly racing to join them. Just 6 percent of Gen X said they’d bring up these topics ahead of a date, and only 13 percent think they’re fair game during the first meet-up. For Baby Boomers, the numbers drop even lower—to 2 percent and 7 percent, respectively.

The most commonly asked topics include political views, thoughts on marriage and children, financial stability, and even mental health history. For Gen Z, these aren’t taboo. They’re considered necessary intel. In an era of curated dating profiles and emotionally unavailable matches, transparency is trending hard.

It’s also a reflection of how dating has evolved in the age of apps, where people are often juggling multiple conversations and dealing with burnout. For some, asking the hard questions up front helps cut through the noise and avoid wasting time on incompatible connections. Efficiency, even in romance, is the new love language.

The controversial question trend reflects a larger shift in how younger generations are approaching relationships—especially in a post-pandemic dating world where emotional bandwidth is in short supply and bullshit tolerance is even shorter. Many aren’t interested in putting on a polite front for someone they might fundamentally disagree with about major issues like politics, gender roles, or money.

Still, some people think the trend might be pushing too hard, too soon. Dating is already anxiety-inducing—do we really need to add “how much debt are you in?” to the pre-date checklist?

Then again, nothing says “romance in 2025” quite like leading with: “So, what’s your stance on capitalism?”