Happy Birthday Ja Hope It Rules

I like to play a game with people where, every time, I can figure out if I’m going to get along with them or not. You ask the person to fill up an imaginary, hypothetical car with rappers that they like. The person needs to be very specific with everything. They need to decide who is shotgun, or if they are even driving – I never am because I can’t drive – who is in the back, who is the cheese, who has window rights (i.e. who could roll down the windows and start yelling things or WORSE). 

Anyway, I don’t fuck with people who don’t include Ja Rule in their car. It doesn’t matter where we’re “driving” or where we’re “going”, if I’m going to be filling up a make-believe car with real life rappers, Ja is coming. Usually, I give him window rights because I want to hear him growl his little growls at J.Lo or whomever we ride by and I know that he’d be fair when divvying up the drive-thru order to everyone else. I’ve filled up a lot of imaginary cars in my day, but I love to ride with alumni like Ghostface, Ma$e, DMX, Lil’ Fame only when he is Fizzy Womack, framed photo of Tupac, Jigga, Layzie Bone and all of Dipset.

Because no one can decide or come up with a better moniker for this day than “Leap Year Day” I think we should take it for what it really is and rename accordingly: Ja Rule’s birthday. He turned 37 today, but in leap year years, he’s only 9. It must be weird to be born inside a fluke crack bursting open the calendar system but hey, everyone’s different.

Let’s all watch him grow up together now.

His birth – welcome!

Terrible twos, spoiling his dinner, choosing his own school clothes

Imagine triplets of Ja Rule? Well Ja did.

The inquisitive years, growing curiouser and curiouser about the world

Meeting Ashanti, around 7 I’d say

Growing older, becoming a wizened sage

Present day, havin’ a time!

Have a good one, boo! Pick me up around 8 tonight and let’s get it poppin’.

@wtevs