Hardballing Might Be a Cutthroat Way to Date, But It Does Work

In a world of ambiguous daters, many people are growing tired of the games, lack of commitment, and poor communication in the dating world. That’s why some daters are embracing an approach known as “hardballing.”

Hardballing is a dating trend taking the apps by storm. It basically involves being upfront about what you’re looking for without any vagueness or shame. For example, if you’ve used the dating apps before, you’ve likely seen profiles of people stating things like…“Looking for an actual relationship, “Not interested in casual,” “Don’t waste my time.” 

But does hardballing actually work?

What is ‘hardballing’ in dating?

Hardballing basically means being upfront about your intentions, wants, and needs in dating. You get straight to the point rather than dancing around hard topics, and you don’t waste time trying to match someone else’s pace. You set the tone with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude.

Most daters eventually get to this point in dating, especially when they’re seeking a long-term partnership. However, hardballing can be a little more intense than, say, intentional dating.

4 ways to start hardballing in your relationships

While this approach could be a great way to find someone who is aligned with your wants/needs in dating, it could also prevent you from making genuine connections if you’re a little too pushy about it.

Thankfully, there’s a right way to go about it.

1. Be transparent about your dating intentions

The driving force behind hardballing is stating your intentions clearly and unapologetically. That means when it comes time to discuss what you’re looking for while on a first date, you tell them directly and honestly. Rather than trying to match what your date wants in order to force a connection, hardballing means you’re staying true to your own wants and needs in a relationship/dating experience.

2. Ask the right questions

Don’t be afraid to ask your date what they’re looking for, as this can help you determine whether you’d be a good match. For example, if they respond with “I just want something casual right now” while you’re looking for a future partner, you probably don’t want to waste your time investing in the potential connection, as your overall dating goals don’t align.

3. Let the relationship play out

As mentioned earlier, hardballing can be a bit more intense than intentional dating, which follows a similar approach. Hardballers often come on strong, which can feel overwhelming early on.

For example, if you’re already trying to lock someone down on a first date, perhaps try to slow the roll a bit. You can tell the other person what you want out of dating in a general sense (e.g., a serious relationship), but don’t make it seem like you expect that from them specifically. Otherwise, you might risk coming off as a love-bomber. 

You can be upfront with your wants while acknowledging that you’re still getting to know the person. Let the relationship play out authentically. 

4. Consider your date’s wants, too

Your wants, needs, and feelings aren’t the only ones that matter. If you find you’re invested in someone you’ve been seeing pretty regularly, don’t sabotage the connection by focusing only on yourself. Relationships take compromise. As long as your general dating goals and values align, you have a good chance at building a genuine connection. Don’t be so cut and dry with your dating preferences that you overlook the other person’s feelings.