Is Young Love Dead?

I remember growing up and believing there was one true love for everyone—one soulmate, one person put on this Earth specifically for you. 

Then, I grew up. I got hurt. I misjudged others and myself. I made mistakes and fell victim to others’ mistakes, too. And somewhere along the way, I lost a bit of hope.

It’s not that I don’t think love exists. Of course, that’s not the case. I just view love through a different lens. I realize many of us mistake lust or attachment or even fear of being alone for some fairytale, meant-to-be love story. 

I know now that love is more of a choice—a committed decision—than a feeling. Feelings are fleeting. They can go and they can go as they please. But love is far deeper than that. It’s far more complex. And it’s far less romantic than they portray it in the movies.

Still, that was the perception of love I had growing up. And honestly, I’m glad I was disillusioned in my youth. Because of that, I was able to experience “young love.” You know, the puppy-dog kinda of love where you feel it’s you two against the world, tackling all of life’s problems (like jealous friends and algebra class) as a unit.

It’s that kind of “love” that makes you feel like you might die if you’re separated for longer than a few days, where you’re kissing outside of class and cursing your school for not scheduling your lunch during the same period.

Many of us got to experience that excruciatingly sappy and dramatic form of love. But today’s kids? I’m not so sure they’re lucky enough to be quite as naive and blissful.

‘Young Love’ Isn’t As Innocent As It Used To Be

Imagine being bombarded with conflicting dating advice and relationship horror stories every time you open your social media or consume media. Even as an adult, I found myself losing hope in finding love for a while. However, I had my young, carefree years. Today’s kids simply don’t have that same privilege. 

In the past, it was as easy (and innocent) as feeling butterflies around a certain person and passing a note asking, “Do you like me? Check Y/N” to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. These rites of passage seemingly don’t exist anymore—at least not in the same way.

Now, more teens are using social media apps rather than communicating in person.

I recently stumbled upon an article by Vox about the state of young love. Writer Charley Locke explored the idea of finding love as a teenager in today’s world, speaking to teens about their version of a “talking stage,” which apparently all happens on Snapchat now.

“The majority of my week, that’s how I’m interacting with people,” one 16-year-old named Emily (changed for the sake of privacy), told Vox. She explained to the outlet that if someone likes you, they’ll send a photo of their full face. Apparently, that’s akin to a bouquet of flowers or some other romantic gesture. “If you like them, too, then you’ll start sending texts back and forth on Snapchat.”

But not only are teens using social media to form connections and communicate with their crushes, but they’re also consuming potentially harmful media. I mean, we’ve always been sold superficial beauty standards, but now more people are making them seem attainable with the rise in plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures, as well as influencer culture. 

It’s easy for anyone—especially young and impressionable teens looking for love—to fall victim and feel the need to “fix” parts of themselves. 

So…is young love dead? Maybe. Or perhaps it’s just morphed into something else entirely. 

But it certainly does not seem as innocent and blissful as it once was.