There’s (Another) Logical Explanation for Loch Ness Monster Sightings, But I Refuse to Believe It

A scientist is basically debunking the whole Loch Ness Monster mystery, and as someone who loves the lore, I don’t want to hear it.

Adrian Shine, founder of the Loch Ness Project and a Scottish naturalist who’s spent 50 years investigating the Loch Ness Monster, has proposed a devastating theory about alleged sightings: people are actually seeing swans.

Well, that’s boring.

“Of course, there are long-necked creatures on Loch Ness—we call them swans,” Shine told Pen News. “Boat wakes are probably the number one cause of monster sightings, and waterbirds are the long-necked ones. And in calm conditions, you can lose your ability to judge distance, and if you can’t judge distance, you can’t judge size.”

“When a vessel is coming towards you, it is obvious what the wake is—you see it spreading out from the sides of the vessel approaching you or indeed going away from you,” he continued. “But if it’s going across your front, it’s quite different—you see the individual wave train, the individual wavelengths, as solid black humps.”

So…what about those who swear by seeing Nessie? We’re just gonna deny them their truths?

“People will continue to come forward having seen things unrecognized by them, and [that] will inevitably confirm the stereotypes that society has—it is called confirmation bias,” Shine explained, per the New York Post.

Yeah, whatever.

Shine continued to rationalize his theory by calling out how “finite” the loch is as opposed to, say, the ocean.

“Yes, the loch is quite deep, it’s quite big—there’s more water in it than in the whole of England and Wales, but it’s still a relatively small place,” he said. “Therefore the answer seems not to be too far away.”

Well, it’s a shitty answer. And I’ll keep believing.