Move in with Your Significant Other

This is going well, isn’t it? Tinder Bang turned Recurring Booty Call turned Let’s Get Pizza turned Meet Their Friends turned Meet Their Family turned Bought An £80 Blanket Together And Discussed Getting A Dog But Did Not, Ultimately, Get A Dog.

It’s been 18 months but mouth stuff is still a regular menu item. You save episodes of Queer Eye to watch together, and the two of you have never once argued about what to do on a Sunday (well… there was that once, where they walked dramatically away from you by a canal. But it’s hard to tell when it’s a real argument and when they’re just hungry and need a fucking cereal bar, isn’t it?).

And now it’s time to ruin it. Here, let’s move in with your significant other:

IT’S… IT’S GOING WELL!

“DID YOU LEAVE THIS SPOON OUT?”

AFTER A PERIOD OF EXTENDED SILENCE, YOUR LANDLORD HAS PHONED THREE TIMES AND EMAILED ONCE. WHAT DOES HE WANT?

ACTUALLY, NO, BACK TO THE START PLEASE