This spring has been phenomenal for quotes. Not sure why. Here’s a brief list:

“You’re on Schindler’s shitlist.” – TV Carnage’s Big Pinky

“Fingering a girl like this is [moves fingers like an upside down jogger] is called ‘The Lionel Richie.’ Get it? You’re dancing on the ceiling.” – Anon.

[After slapping a cigarette out of a guy’s mouth] “Why don’t you die the old fashioned way, like AIDS. – The Longbranch Inn’s Jim Stockbauer

“A little goes a long way but a lot goes a little too far.”
[Some homeless guy comes up to us and says “Hey man I live in this abandoned house across the street and I have to use a flash light to get around and my flashlight just ran out of batteries. Can I get some change? It’s not for booze or anything. My flashlight just ran out of batteries] to which we responded, “Oh that’s a coincidence. My care machine just ran out of batteries.”
Christie Bradnox

“Are you a producer? Because you just produced a boner.”
Sharky Favorite

“Can we not ask for some fucking directions please? We’ve been driving around in bezerkles all night.”
Guy from Crom

[After a huge pile of free beer arrives at the table] “It’s a beeracle!”
Other guy from Crom

“I’m shaking like a chi hua hua at a pet show.”
“That guy’s shadier than an old charcoal painting.”
“Dude his wife’s a cunt. She makes our wives look like Santi Claus.”
The Longbranch Inn’s Jim Stockbauer

“I felt like Samuel Jackson in the Negrotiator.”
TV Carnage’s Big Pinky

VARIOUS ARTISTS

“I’m hungrier than a crack whore’s vagina.”

[While pointing to an older female bartender with tons of tattoos like she’s still in L7] “Who’s that Momhain?”

[When the laughs really start roaring] “Who fastened the chuckle buckle?”