By Sunday night of the Reading Festival, after three days of being out in the elements and with no money, no drugs and no booze left, the campsites begin to resemble something out of Lord of the Flies: posh kids with muddy faces setting fire to daddy’s tent and braying “Bollocks!” into the night. Myths about the mischief that goes on have been circulating for years: toilets being set on fire, trolley wars, guys getting their balls blown off by exploding gas cannisters. But by far the best story is the one about the cage fights…

Here’s what happens: crowds of kids kick down the security fences and lean them together to make an arena into which they hurl two 16-year-olds on MDMA who then pretend to fight each other. For the past two summers they’ve pitted Emo vs Indie, with the amassed hordes banging on the fences screaming “Emo! Emo!” or “Indie! Indie!” Here’s a low-quality clip from last year’s cage fights.

This year I was so on the lookout for cage fights that I found myself almost promoting them like Don King. The signs looked ominous when it emerged that 19 cars were set ablaze. However, to the best of my knowledge, the fights didn’t happen this year. I did hear reports about a Tunnel of Filth in one of the campsites where Emo kids were bullied into sliding down a tunnel that led them (unwittingly) straight into a stream filled with piss and shit and rubbish. Someone got some photos of it which we’ll put up as soon as we get them back from Snappy Snaps.

READING 2008

Pitch your tent carefully.

Never do it right next to the walkway or it will get fucked.

Or set alight.

Bring a nice pair of wellies.

Wacky outfits are fun until it gets cold.

Then again, you could just get too drunk to feel.

Reading is Ground Zero for dumb T-shirts…

…and mad guys who shave “CUNT” into their heads…

and crazy kids who write “I’m Gay” on their faces.

Hello obligatory Scottish guy painted like a Smurf.

Sporting actual cornrows, this Axl Rose wannabe wasn’t doing it to be funny.

Alternative specialists Silver Hand can make “Anyone Look Cool”.

The shit stream near Brown Camp.

Someone about to get thrown in said stream.

Someone swimming in shit.

More: The Festival Guide 2008