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Why the fuck does Kelly Rowland text Nelly using Microsoft Excel?

And other outdated references from music videos.
Ryan Bassil
London, GB

Everyone knows the line “Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, When I was dead broke/ Man, I couldn’t picture this” from Biggie Smalls’ house-party soundsystem classic “Juicy” because it’s one of the best songs in the world and if you don’t know all the words, you’re a bad human. But it’s not the only song that now sounds like the ramblings of 60-year-old marketing executives trying desperately to impress the kids.

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Rappers and musicians reference things because it increases their relevance. The only problem is that a couple of years after the song is released, the cultural ticks no longer make any sense. Below are a bunch of references that will not make any sense to anyone who is currently being born in a hospital right this second.

THIS WEIRD SCREENGRAB FROM NELLY & KELLY'S DILEMMA

C’mon Kelly, of course Nelly isn’t going to message you back when you’re trying to text him using MICROSOFT EXCEL. How did this even happen? Who directed this video?

THE iPOD MINI IN D12's "MY BAND" VIDEO

CRAZYTOWN IN DIDDY'S "BAD BOYS FOR LIFE"

Pour one out for all of the famous people cameos in music videos that won’t make sense in a decades time (I’m looking at your Artie from Glee in that Katy Perry video).

THE WHOLE OF GYM CLASS HEROES "NEW FRIEND REQUEST"

“It’s hard for me to not hate when I’m on MySpace, I never see my face in your top eight”

Sure, this song could be applied to any social network that exists in the future, but in it’s purest form it’s an ode to something that only a small portion of the population used during an era of fashion choices that most people would probably rather forget.

THIS BAR FROM JAY Z'S "ENCORE"

“I’m in Boeing jets, Global Express/ Out of the country but the Blueberry still connect”

Jay Z comes only a close second to Lil Wayne in the Dad joke stakes.

AND HIS OTHER BAR FROM “I JUST WANNA LUV U”