The Internet Is Appalled at the Australian Prime Minister’s Obsession with Raw Onions

Tony Abbott, the Prime Minister of Australia, really loves to eat raw onion.

Who can say exactly why he loves the bulbous alliums so much? Maybe it’s their pungent astringency, or their wet-sock bouquet, or the vellum-like quality of their crunchy, crispy onion skin. Regardless, one thing’s for sure: Tony Abbott and raw onions are like two peas in an overpoweringly acerbic pod. And the people of Australia are having none of it. Welcome to #Oniongate.

There are now numerous and highly publicized times that Prime Minister Abbott was seen chowing down on his possibly all-time favorite treat: an entire bulb of raw onion. And no, it wasn’t just some vacationing Cossack with a killer Abbott impression. In March of this year, Abbott toured Charlton Farm Produce in Tasmania when, unexpectedly, he picked up an onion and ate it, skin and all—like he was biting into a juicy apple. He shed not one tear, according to amazed onlookers.

David Addison, the owner of Charlton Farm Produce, told the Sydney Morning Herald, “I may have said ‘it’s a shame they weren’t peeled,’ and he just started eating it.”

“It was just spontaneous, and there weren’t even any tears,” he said.

Abbot was quite pleased with the taste of the Charlton Farm onion and made a remark that indicated he was an avid onion eater: “Better than any other onions I’ve eaten in a long time.”

Evidently eager to get more oniony goodness, Abbott, according to Daily Mail, “went back for seconds a week later when an onion industry representative met him at Parliament House.” He deemed the onion he ate on that occasion “tasty.”

Footage from the March Oniongate shows the Prime Minister grimacing slightly, but then nodding in approval. The March event went viral online; one media outlet even dubbed Abbott “The Minister for Onions.” Who wants to bet that the man is simply some sort of sage seer, unearthing the multifaceted intricacies of global geopolitics one bite at a time? The Twittersphere is enjoying every moment of Abbott’s snacking on the farm. Alex Richardson tweeted, “Australian PM Tony Abbott eats onion with skin, doesn’t even wince. Clearly a robot.” @AndrewGigacz quipped, “I’ve always said that Tony Abbott is a man of many layers.” References to George Constanza’s onion-eating adventures abound. Don’t the people of Australia realize that they can save a pretty penny on compost bins by sending their leftover produce to the walking, talking disposal unit that is Tony Abbott?

But now, thanks to some very meticulous and hard-hitting reporting by ABC News, new footage has been unearthed of Tony Abbott enjoying an onion—wait for it—four damn years ago!

The newly uncovered event happened in 2011 in a farm in Queensland. A video proves that Abbott does not discriminate when it comes to the onion family. ABC describes the object of Abbott’s pleasure to be “another member of the onion family.” In our professional opinion, Abbott appears to be taking three bites of a spring onion.

When asked the simple question of why he engaged in such, well, remarkable behavior, the Prime Minister could only say, “I thought it was very important that I should show my support for the great products that the Tasmanian agricultural industry produces and, you know, I enjoy onions.” What can we say? The man’s clearly a people person.

But raw onions? Abbott countered, “I normally have them cooked on the barbecue, but I enjoy [raw] onions!”

Munch away, Mr. Abbott. And best of luck to you, Mrs. Abbott. After all, an onion a day keeps the dingoes at bay.