Look, sometimes restaurants don’t have what you want, when you want it—but can we just calm down about it?
"Everyone was like, ‘What happened down there?’ and I was like, ‘I really don’t know, man. I got the ranch though.'"
Also, why do these chocolate bar names sound like My Chemical Romance lyrics?
Small-town mayor by day, vengeful gator slayer after hours.
Ranch? La Croix? Holy water? Hot sauce? Which liquid delivers the best hit?
The property's owner says he's been visited by dozens of otherworldly creatures, and killed 18 of them with a samurai sword.
“Ranch is the bastard child of salad dressing," says Courtney McBroom of Large Marge. "Everyone hates on it, but I don’t understand why."
The 20,662-acre property, including buildings by award-winning architect Tadao Ando as well as a famous movie set, could be yours.