Last month, at least twice, the sky opened up and rained poo down upon the residents of a nice British Columbian town.
And somehow, someway, one of the droppings that smacked into Kelowna managed to make it’s way right through the sunroof of a car stopped at a red light and all over those sitting inside. The unfortunate occupants of that car, which was splattered on May 9, was Susan Allen and her son Travis. Allen told VICE that she was just driving along with the sunroof open, enjoying a nice day when, KABLAMEE, they were covered in shit.
“We were inundated with poop falling from the sky,” Allen told VICE. “There was poop falling through my sunroof, all over myself, all over my son, all over the inside my car.” The airborne shit is believed to have fallen out of a passing airplane, a theory Transport Canada is now investigating.
“My entire car was covered, it was covered from the front bumper all the way to the back bumper. It was in my sunroof, it was all over my seat, it was in my face, down my shirt. It was disgusting.”
Allen said that she had no idea what actually happened in the moment and it wasn’t until someone in the car next to her pointed up that she saw a plane flying overhead and put together what happened. Seated next to her, also covered in shit, was her son Travis who vomited from the smell.
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“The smell was horrific,” Allen told VICE. “It smelled exactly like human poop, but almost had a chlorine poop smell. I have never felt that way I guess in my life. It was gross and I had it in my eyes, I had it in my mouth, my hair. I was more worried about contracting a disease from having it like in my eye.”
Dry heaving from the stench Allen knew she had to quickly do something. So she made a beeline to the nearest car wash where she sprayed down herself, her son, and her car. Allen and her son weren’t the only ones targeted by a heat-seeking turd from the sky. According to CTV, another car got splattered by air-bound shit only three days after Allen's encounter with the second-kind. She said, overall, the incident has her shook.
Allen said that the day after the incident she had to go to the doctor because her eye swelled up to “the size of a golf ball.” A doctors note Allen received says she was treated for conjunctivitis—better known as pink eye, a common side effect of when your eyes encounter poop.
The woman has attempted to get help from the authorities but they haven’t been too helpful—she told VICE that she wants the government department to detail her car and compensate her for the injury. Meanwhile, Transport Canada has said they’re investigating the incident, and the Kelowna Airport said they’ve narrowed down the poo plane to three possible suspects.
Allen told VICE that coming to media about something like this is a last resort and that she thought long and hard about her decision.
“It's not exactly something you want to be known for... being shit on by humans.”
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