Alle illustrationer af Brandon Celi.

People Describe the Worst Roommate They Ever Had in Six Words

“Shaved pubes left all over toilet.”

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Jul 28 2017, 9:30pm

Alle illustrationer af Brandon Celi.

There's a reason many people recoil at the idea of sharing their living quarters after age 30: by then, they've seen it all. They've had to haggle over a security deposit with a flaky pillhead and buried their face into a pillow to drown out the wild, screeching sex noises coming from the other side of the hall or wall at all hours of the night. They've watched friendships flail as they realized their bestie might be a ball of fun and a nasty slob beast who can't be bothered to do her dishes. In short, a bad roommate can make life a living hell, one soul-crushing interaction after the next. That in mind, we asked friends and co-workers to recall the most gnarly person they've shared an electric bill with. Here's that...

"Vegan. Wouldn't allow meat in fridge." - Lindsey, 24

"Peed in Tupperware and kept it." - Lauren, 33

"Shaved pubes left all over toilet." - Steve, 39

"Would take E and watch Bravo." - Sam, 26

"Insisted on hanging Morrissey posters everywhere." - Gabriel, 27

"Hosted comedy shows in the kitchen." - Tim, 22

"Left chicken bones on kitchen floor." - Lauren, 25

"Wrapped microwave in foil because 'radiation.'" - Harry, 31

"Shower smelled terrible after he showered." - Peter, 21

"Left used tampons on the counter." - Pilot, 29

"Left semen on the shower walls." - Michael, 33

"Let homeless man smoke crack inside." - Lia, 27

"Bitch started dating my ex-boyfriend." - Jen, 31

"Banned me from fucking at home." - Hayley, 26

"Used cereal bowls as ash trays." - Malik, 23

"Stinky feet reeked through entire house." - Danielle, 32

"Had loud sex at all times." - Laura, 29

"Poop confetti in toilet every day." - Kate, 40

"I walked in on "water sports." - Chris, 32

"Stole clothes and fucked my cousin." - Shoshana, 22

"Let cat play with used condoms" - Courtney, 38

Illustrations by Brandon Celi.

"I tried to get him committed." - Ray, 35

"Her random hookup stole my shit." - Crystal, 35

"Did coke but against smoking pot." - Kate, 32

"Slept with my best friend's boyfriend." - Alison, 32

"Lied about my dog biting her." - Jen, 34

"Left period blood in the shower." - Tara, 36

"Stopped paying rent, girlfriend moved in." - Jamie, 29

"Used condom stuck to remote control." - Maggie, 38

"Played death metal around the clock." - Paul, 33

"Put dead rat in friend's pocket." - Madeline, 25

"Fought over hummus outside our apartment." - Estelle, 23

"Left door open; lost my cat." - Leo, 30

"Unemployed. Late on rent every month." - Lily, 34

"Let druggie friends crash on couch." - Olivia, 27

"Drank all my top shelf alcohol." - Dave, 33

"He sent sexts to my sister." - Kevin, 25

"Adopted a dog without telling me." - Jess, 24

"Asshole stole all my favorite records." - Noah, 38

"Cut her hair off. Cried constantly." - Mary, 29

"Cooked the smelliest, nastiest vegan shit." - Eddie, 36

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