Photo by another farahkchi.
 

I know one gay guy. I met him about eight years ago at the Baghdad fine arts college. It’s weird because he is married and has very cute twins, but all his friends know he is gay. We call him farahkchi which means “boy fucker,” but we call all of our friends that. It is hard to know who is really gay. Iraqi men are generally very cosmopolitan and very preened. The men all pluck their eyebrows and even the top parts of their beards. Men hold hands and kiss on the cheek. There are a lot of gay barbers, designers, and actors. We have many gays, but this culture is like your military: Don’t ask, don’t tell.


or men of age who have wives, it is OK to be effeminate. But for teenage boys it’s not good and they get picked on. The only gays who get killed are the homeless gay teenage prostitutes. The militias kill them like dogs.

I called my gay friend (we’ll call him “G”) in Syria, where he recently moved. Compared to Iraq, Syria is gay heaven.

Vice: Hi, G. What you doing now?

G: I was running, just to keep my fitness.

Oh yeah, you need that, fat boy. You’ve got to look good in case you meet some gay.

Shut your mouth, silly guy. For five days, I haven’t met one. It’s so weird. Maybe if I don’t find one, I’ll come to fuck you.

Hey motherfucker, that’s not my job.

Yes, I know, but if I don’t find some gay to fuck, I must choose one from my friends. No no, I am just kidding.

Tell me G, why do you like being gay? You already have a wife and kids.

Hey, what do you mean? It’s a weird question. Why are you asking that? Tell me quick or I will come to fuck you.

Because I know you very well and because you’re honest. And you have a lot of experience.

Hey, eat shit, OK?

[laughs] Why?

Because you ask me a silly question. Gay is gay. They just love big dick.

Do you have a big one, G?

You want to know what I have, baby, just come over.

Shut up and tell me.

Sure dude, I have a very big one.

What do you like a gay to do to you?

I just fuck them.

I know you fuck them, but what do you like them to do first?

First I like to drink with him. Then he must lick all of my body, especially my dick.

Can you describe gay life in Iraq?

Sure. We have a secret life, you know. Traditions, religion, law, society—it’s all against us and makes us out to be devils. But in spite of that, we can meet and make love undercover.

You left Baghdad and now you are in Syria. Do you meet many gays here?

Yes! Here you can find one each day, so easily.

What’s the difference between Iraqi and Syrian gays?

They have a different ass. Here, I really like the ass. You try Syrian ass, then you know what ass means. If you want to come here, I can show you everything. Not just theoretically.

Fuck you, you fucking gay.

Oh Hayder, I am just kidding. But really, I hate this conversation. If people want to know, they can try it. Then they will know. If it’s bad, then they never have to do it again.

You’re right. What kind of body do you like?

Slim but not weak and bony. Shaven. Smooth skin and a really nice, fresh, mushy ass.

What do women mean to you?

Women are nice, especially their asses. But I hate tits. I respect a woman because she will be a great mother.

Good answer. So, G, you can go now and try to find someone to fuck. I wish you good luck.

Thank you! And please slap your ass for me.

OK, I will do it just for you, gayfucker. Here you go.

Yeah, I like this.

HAYDER DAFFAR