Fantasy Football Dating App: Week 16

Every Sunday morning, fantasy owners face similar choices to the ones “dating” app users do on Saturday night. When faced with lots of options, do you want to swipe left and pass on potential opportunity or do you want to swipe right and open the door for exciting possibilities? Each week, we’ll talk about specific players and what you should do with them (particularly when setting your daily fantasy lineups).

Swipe Left

Todd Gurley

Like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Gurley burst onto the scene when he finally received significant action, topping 120 yards in four straight games. However, he’s quietly faded into the fog since then, breaking 100 yards on the ground only once in the last seven weeks. To make it worse, he’s now going against the toughest run defense in football. Over and over again, teams completely abandon the run against Seattle, with no team rushing even 15 times in any of the last five games. Giving up on the ground game would be entirely consistent with the Rams recent play calling, as they sometimes seem to be playing keep-a-way from their best player. Mix it all together and there doesn’t appear to be any shiny red nose here to guide your team to victory this week.

Read More: Situation Impossible, Replacing Tyrann Mathieu

Larry Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald is another guy who has suddenly disappeared faster than Frosty in a greenhouse. After being one of the most heavily-targeted receivers in football for most of the season, Carson Palmer has only looked his way a combined 11 times in the last two games. Since he doesn’t make the big plays he used to, you have to count on lots of short receptions to prop up his value. If that’s not going to happen, you’d be better off spending your money on a magic hat that can supposedly bring snow to life than paying a top-10 price on Fitzgerald. I’m staying away from him as long as it appears Palmer is doing the same.

A.J. Green

Green was riding high heading into last week, having scored four touchdowns in his previous three games. Then he hurt his back and got completely shut down last week, leaving fantasy owners in playoff matchups to talk about him like Clark Griswold talked about his boss.

A week later, his back is feeling better just in time for him to try to carry an AJ McCarron-sized lump of coal all over the field. Look at his quarterback, his matchup with the Broncos, his health and—again at his quarterback. Save your money rather than invest in Green this week. Go ahead and spend it on a jelly of the month club, it’s the gift that keeps giving the whole year.

Swipe Right

Doug Baldwin

Every year there is a player who explodes late in the season and swings countless fantasy leagues. With an astounding 10 TDs in the last four weeks, there is no doubt that Baldwin is this year’s guy. If you got him off the waiver wire, you’ve spent the last month doing a perpetual zombie running man dance. Baldwin has been incredibly efficient this year, catching basically everything thrown at him. I mean that literally— he’s hauled in an unbelievable 75.6% of all his targets this year. The only player higher among WRs with at least 80 targets is Danny Amendola, who doesn’t run anywhere near as many deep routes as Baldwin. While this pace might not be sustainable, the simple fact remains that if your opponent has Baldwin and you don’t, you probably lose the week if he stays hot. When you look at the other players around his price range, I’m not willing to pick someone else this week and take that risk.

This man catches everything. Photo by Troy Wayrynen-USA TODAY Sports.

Latavius Murray

Often overlooked when people are discussing workhorse running backs, Murray has averaged 20+ touches a game over the last four weeks. While it hasn’t translated yet into any huge performances, the situation is ripe for him to explode this week against a Chargers team with nothing left to play for other than draft position. Murray put up 15.6 points against the Chargers in Week 7 and that’s when they still appeared to give a damn. Now, it seems plausible that he could equal that total by halftime. At only $5,000, he’s the perfect running back to put under your tree on Christmas Eve.

Kirk Cousins

Twas Saturday Night in Philly

With the playoffs on the line

When the mighty Kirk Cousins broke the huddle

And called out the signs

He considered his weapons

He could use through air

There was Jordan, Thompson and Jones

Jackson, Crowder and Pierre

Looking outside to DJax

He saw coverage that was single

And realized this game would be easier

Than getting silver bells to jingle

Jackson ran straight down the field

No safety help ever came

When the ball nestled in his arms

It was clear who to blame

While celebrating, he saw Santa laughing

Shaking like a bowl full of jelly

Which is a clear sign your opponent

Is coached by Chip Kelly

Next drive, Cousins threw another TD

Then he tossed in two more

All of the sudden he had

The week’s top fantasy score

At bars across the country

His owners started to chat

Pointing at their buddies

And screaming “You like that!”

Before too long, it was over

And a voice could be heard at the Linc

Shouting “Merry Christmas Eagles

Fans, your pass defense stinks”