What Musicians Were Wearing and Sharing on Instagram This Week 3/13

So I’m sitting here typing this column hunched over because some lady at the nail salon today rubbed my back into a big ass painful ball. I really hope she worked there, because I didn’t even bother to check and just handed her a $10 bill like “Thanks.” Now I can’t sit up straight, but who needs posture when we have INSTAGRAM PHOTS OF THE WEEK? Lots of dumb shit on the ‘Grams along with a cute engagement. Let’s get it.

Okay so this is the “wearing and sharing” column right? So let’s see: French is “wearing” either giant basketball shorts or middle aged mom capri pants from Ann Taylor LOFT. He’s “sharing” that six pack. DAYUMMM.

Okay so I know I’m not rich enough for a cryogenic chamber or whatever, but is this really that fun? Ludacris’ ecstasy face looks as if he has his penis attached to a toothless prostitute who presented him with her clean bill of health before getting to work.

If you’re old like me, then you remember when Madonna was pregnant with Lourdes. Now she’s all grown up, modeling and is the ultimate face, hair, and eyebrow goals on the entire planet.

Posting because random memes involving Miley Cyrus and Snoop Dogg make me smile.

LiLo had that one song that one time so I am considering her an artist, mainly though to express how uncomfortable this photo makes me. It looks like a Sears portrait of a girl who purposely flunked out of University just so she could marry her creepy English professor.

Big Boi touched my soul and my arm goals with this photo.

If your last name isn’t Kardashian, I tend to not care about your love life, but GOOD FOR YOU, CIARA. You deserve all of the happiness girl. Plus, did Russell Wilson rent out heaven for the night to propose there? Like, what the fuck?

Baby Swizzle’s dress though… Come ON. You want to run to JC Penney right now and grab one. ADMIT IT.

Azealia may have deleted her Twitter, but her Instagram lives on. She’s so much more adorable when she’s sitting still and not typing in capital letters.

Rumor has it 50 Cent plans to delete his Instagram soon, so here’s a pic of Fif with Kindergarten Cop before he throws it all away.

Ellie Goulding announced she was taking a break from music for like a year, and this has literally been me since I heard this devastating news.

I know this was supposed to be some sexy moment in time captured by the Biebs, but he actually looks like he was on that Canadian Nickelodeon show You Can’t Do That On Television and just said “water” out loud. Google it.

That dog would rather listen to Sarah McLachlan sing “Angel” than be touched by Skrillex’s hair.

I’m sure there are a billion thirst trappy men and women who are looking at something else in this photo, but I want to send a heartfelt applause to Nicki Minaj’s cleavage. Just kidding, her wings on fucking fleek (if fleek is still a thing).

Game looks like those few and far between hot guys on OKCupid that you hit up first like, “Hi” and they never get back to you. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST GET BACK TO YOU? Sorry. Random outburst.

Kathy Iandoli has been Catfished before. Ask her about it on Twitter/Instagram @kath3000.