Thanksgiving kind of crept in and jacked up my streak of blog postings about things that were actually happening out there in this world. This past week the only things I did besides work were family related. And even though I know you’d love to see photos of my baby at his first family Thanksgiving dinner, I’m going to spare you. Mainly because I don’t want you assuming that if you had a baby with your lover that it would be nearly as cute as my kid. That’s just not fair to you guys.
So… back to my archives of nostalgic crap for this week. Today’s column is: My Ten Favorite Skateboard Stickers of All Time (That I Actually Own, That I Can Find in the Next Ten Minutes.) Here we go.
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Powell Peralta Dragon
This sticker is old and big and I’ve had it for a really long time. One of the first skateboards I ever bought was a Powell Peralta Steve Caballero, and it had this graphic on the top. My dad helped me cut out my griptape for the board so that it would perfectly fit around this graphic. He even helped me make a template out of newspaper before we busted out the exacto knife. Every time I look at this sticker it reminds me of that experience. It also reminds me that if my kid ever starts skateboarding I’m going to tell him that there’s no need to cut your grip tape to show the top graphic on your board because that’s what little nerds do. Wish my dad skated. (Just kidding Dad.)
Powell Peralta Tony Hawk
It seems like Tony Hawk catches a lot of flack. Probably because skateboarders like to see themselves as bad boy outsiders, and Tony has never really tried to fill that role. He’s just always been a naturally gifted surf trunk wearing vertical acrobat. And no matter how much shit you talk about the dude, I guarantee he can ride a vert ramp better than you or your favorite flannel/beanie/dickies clad pro. The truth will set you free. Or bum you out.
Sims Jeff Phillips
I included this sticker for one reason. Texas is the reason. Well, that and because supposedly Phillips beat Tony Hawk in a contest once while he was on acid. (Phillips was on acid, not Hawk.) And this was back in the 80s, when Tony Hawk was pretty much unbeatable. Kind of reminds me of this story.
Thrasher/Pushead
I used to carry this sticker around in my calculator case when I was a freshman in high school. I’d look at it during algebra class and try to convince myself that there was awesome shit happening outside of my crappy town and my crappy school. And it worked. Thanks, Pushead. Thanks, Thrasher.
Santa Cruz Keith Meek “Slasher”
I tell you what, as a 12-year-old kid I couldn’t have cared less who Keith Meek was. But I sure loved me some SLASHER. Actually, as a 37-year-old man I kind of feel the same way.
Fucked Up Blind Kids
The early 90s were a pretty lawless time in skateboarding. No internet, no lifeguards, no moral boundaries… it was pretty awesome. I’m glad I got to be there. Thanks, Rocco, Thanks, McKee.
Alien Workshop/Don Pendleton
One time I was buying cat food at the pet food store by my house and there was a kid working there who had that false idols graphic (far right side of the sticker sheet) tattooed on his forearm and I got all excited and was like, “Whoah, that’s a rad Don Pendleton tattoo!” And then the kid looked at me all shitty, like I was some dumb old man, and he said, “Uh… what’s a Don Pendleton tattoo?” real sarcastic like. And then I was all like, “He was the art director at Alien Workshop for a decade and he designed that graphic that you have tattooed on your arm.” Then he got stoked and told me that most people think it’s a Teletubby. And I think he also admitted that he didn’t actually skateboard, he just finger boarded.
Todd Bratrud/Cyrruss Hill
Todd Bratrud is the shit. This sticker isn’t even advertising or promoting anything, other than an awesome man’s brain.
Roger Skateboards Bender
If you’re familiar with 80s skateboard graphics then you know what sticker this is referencing. If not, then just accept that this is a totally blatant way for me to inject my work into this column. Hey, if anybody else out there was excited about my work I’d let them write about it. But since I’m my only fan I gotta shoulder this burden. Don’t hate the player, hate the coach.
Donruss Skateboard Sticker (Late 70s)
I just like this sticker because it says “Kiss The Rim,” and to me that means something totally gross.
Movie Review: Up In Smoke
Parodying pot culture has been funny since at least the late 70s, and it’s still funny today. Mainly because every time the sun comes up a different kid turns 15. Farts are still funny too. And dongs. Never forget dongs.
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