‘Promise Mascot Agency’ Is Half Visual Novel and Half Fever Dream, and It’s Made for Freaks Like Me (Review)

With ¥12,000,000,000 on the line, Michi makes a big mistake, and it will cost him more than he could ever realize. To atone for his sins, he gets another chance at life in the town of Kaso-Machi. Here, he becomes the new owner of the Promise Mascot Agency, inheriting a failed business, alongside a curse that kills any Male Yakuza member who steps foot in the town. No pressure or anything, right? The next 15 to 20 hours of your life will be some of the most unhinged, memorable, and flat-out wonderful, so strap in and prepare yourself for the ultimate thrill ride. And yes, before you ask: the Mascots are alive. There aren’t people inside of them, they’re just a little messed up like everybody else.

Making My Way Downtown, Driving Fast, Faces Pass, and I’m Homebound

Promise Mascot Agency put me in the role of Michi. An ex-Yakuza landing at the town of Kaso-Machi to help run a decrepit love hotel that becomes a Mascot Agency. As the face of the titular Promise Mascot Agency itself, it’s my responsibility to make this a proper rags-to-riches story while also uncovering plenty of mysteries along the way. Part Scooby Doo and another part Paradise Killer, the game is split into several different paths. It’s a visual novel with plenty of quirky characters popping up throughout the story. Another part is a pseudo-Burnout Paradise, with a full open world to explore. Most importantly, it’s equal measure Yakuza and Deadly Premonition, and that is the greatest compliment I can give.

Throughout my roughly 15 hours of playtime, I encountered many different characters from all walks of life. The main draw of Promise Mascot Agency is the mascots themselves. From the shy and terrified To-Fu, to the surprisingly violent Ichigo Love, each of these mascots has more personality than most protagonists. Brilliant writing helps bring these characters to life. It doesn’t matter if I’m chatting with a weeb school teacher who moved to Japan because she liked anime or a businessman who can’t put down his phone. Every character in Promise Mascot Agency is memorable in their own right.

A visual novel can live or die by its writing, and thankfully, the folks behind Paradise Killer are getting better with age. Sure, Promise Mascot Agency is a much more ambitious project compared to their freshman effort. But for those hoping for a solid visual novel experience? You’ll find that and so much more during your trip to Kaso-Machi.

Oh Yeah, on Top of an Open-World Driving Game and Visual Novel, It’s Also a Mascot Simulator and Trading Card Game

It wouldn’t be engaging if all we did was recruit mascots in Promise Mascot Agency, now would it? That’s why you get to set out on the adventure of a lifetime: SIMULATION MANAGEMENT, BAYBEE! Rather than sitting back after recruiting these mascots and, essentially, bribing them to join you with lavish gifts and promises of bonuses, you’ll need to send them out on jobs. These jobs, ranging from helping out at an Adult Video store to promoting a new park, offer several setbacks and challenges. That’s when it’s time for ol’ Mike Miller, former host and official burnout, to work his magic.

When sending a Mascot out, there are times that they may need help. They may get stuck in a door, or they could be terrorized by an actual demon. No big deal, right? That’s where the TCG aspects enter. Finding and assembling the Mascot Support Heroes via playing cards that can be deployed during these Help! Events. Characters you interact with and purchaseable cards can help these Mascots overcome even the most terrifying odds. Each card has a set “point” value corresponding to the type of help a mascot needs. Failure, while embarrassing, happens. You may lose a little extra money and some fans, but there’s always next time. Just like real life.

These are some of the best parts of the game. Sure, there are bound to be some repeated events throughout your journey. But mascots are needed everywhere; they can’t help it if they botch a vending machine repair. They’re just little guys; don’t be too upset. The heart of the cards is here, and the Mascot Events are some of the most fun parts of the game. If you want to keep the money flowing, you gotta keep the mascots goin’.

It’s a Bird! Wait, It’s a Plane! It’s… An Ex-Yakuza With a Disembodied Pinky Flying Over Our Town in a Kei Truck?!?

During my time in Kaso-Machi, I met many wonderful people. And these folks had plenty of things for me to do and look forward to. Jose, the mechanic, outfitted my Kei truck with outlandish upgrades. Mr. Sato wanted items from an Idol group that he loved. And these quests unlocked more lore, upgrades, and money for me to go wild with. Sure, the initial strain of trying to make enough money to pay my bills and my mascots was difficult. But that’s what had me so quickly invested. It’s not easy to survive in Kaso-Machi, but you have to do what you can to live a good life.

Much like real life, money is very important in Promise Mascot Agency. Without going into spoiler territory, you’ll need to make as much money as you can, as quickly as you can. Splitting this between your mascots, bills, and keeping yourself and others alive, things can get tight quickly. I had to split my time between managing mascots, picking up trash, upgrading my office, and more. There’s always something to do here, and if you’re a completionist freak like I am, scouring every inch of Kaso-Machi is the ticket. Unlocking shrines, breaking signs, and helping a gimp serve wines. These are all things you’ll experience in a typical day here at Promise Mascot Agency.

It’s a game that is unabashedly unashamed and unafraid to be itself. Just like the citizens of Kaso-Machi, Promise Mascot Agency is unlike any other game. A world filled with humans and mascots living in perfect harmony with one another. Working together for the greater good of life? It’s a dream we could only hope for, and one that I’m glad that I got to live through.

‘Promise Mascot Agency’ Has One of the Best Soundtracks in a Video Game, Period

One thing that surprises me about Promise Mascot Agency is just how good the soundtrack is. Whether I’m just cruising around Kaso-Machi or if I’m in a battle for my mascot’s life during an event, I’m continuously in awe. The vibes are impeccable, thanks to the talented Alpha Chrome Yayo. City pop, new wave, funk, noise, and anything in between — no two tracks in Promise Mascot Agency are thematically the same. Every song in this game is an earworm, and they’re not going to be leaving your mind any time soon.

Speaking of audio victories, the voice cast is perfection. Every voice actor embodies their character perfectly. I’m slightly biased, with Deadly Premonition being one of my favorite games of all time, but SWERY especially knocked it out of the park as the eccentric Crow priest. Every character is embodied with pure passion and love, and it makes this journey one worth embarking on for that fact alone.

If I had to nitpick and find a few flaws, I would wish that recruiting mascots required a bit more strategy. Each character can be recruited using the same method every time. If I had to cycle through the options and find the perfect bargaining chip to try and bring them into the Promise Mascot Agency, that would help each mascot feel more individual in the long run. I say this as there is a cat covered with… yams that wants to make the Adult Video industry great again.

There Is Nothing Quite Like ‘Promise Mascot Agency’, and I Can Tell It’s Going To Be My New Obsession

Listen. If anything I said in this review seems even remotely interesting? You owe it to yourself to check out Promise Mascot Agency. It’s fresh, new, and exciting, all while not being afraid of being something polarising. It’s not a game for everyone by any means at all. Some people will think this is the dumbest thing they’ve ever seen. Then, there are people like me. Games like Promise Mascot Agency are why indies continue to thrive. And why I hope they continue to keep on being the best thing in the business.

Running my own mascot agency, becoming friends with people around town, all while cozily drifting along in a Kei truck with a massive disembodied pinky in the back of it. This is the stuff that dreams are made of, really. Promise Mascot Agency is a one-of-a-kind game that deserves the attention it should rightfully get, at least in my humble opinion. It’s a testament to all things weird and wonderful.

Even after wrapping up the main story, there’s still plenty for me to do within Kaso-Machi. And I’ll gladly turn the key, hop in my Kei truck, and explore this world for countless more hours. I’ve only Platinumed 3 games on my PlayStation 5 up to this point. Promise Mascot Agency, with everything that it has to offer, is going to be the 4th. And that’s a promise I intend to keep.

Verdict: Strongly Recommended

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Promise Mascot Agency will be available on April 10, 2025, on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, Nintendo Switch, and PC. A code was provided by the publisher for the sake of review. Reviewed on PlayStation 5.