There comes a time in every grown man’s life when Speedos just won’t cut it. When they crave something that’s just a little bit more sensual. Michael David is the founder and head designer of Koala Swim, a company that specializes in sexy swimwear for men, ranging from your average thong to a piece of swimwear that’s held on using only a butt plug and cock ring. A picture of the Changed Man bikini, one of Koala’s designs that essentially turns your package in to a bloated vagina, has been doing the internet rounds recently. I just had to have a word.

VICE: What is it about Koala swimwear that gets all the guys so riled up?
Michael David: Well, we have many different types of designs, so we appeal to a lot of different interests. We have feminizing suits—which we call “male to female transformation wear,” and then we have the enhancement suits—which make you look as big as possible down there. And we have the sexy swimwear designs—which a lot of guys are just really, really into.

Yeah, what’s the deal with the feminizing suits? Where does everything go with the Changed Man bikini?
That one in particular was actually our most popular one over the last summer. What happens is your shaft is pushed inside of you, and then the triangle shaped pouch holds that down flat.

Jesus.
It’s funny, we’ve used it on models of all different sizes, and whether they’re three inches or eight inches, it all works the same. It pushes it in, holds it flat, then the balls are split with the splitter and pulled backwards to form a vagina. Kind of a swollen vagina but, you know, it has the right effect.

Do people actually wear your suits to the beach?
Yeah, sure, if it’s a beach that allows that type of swimwear. Some guys just try to get away with it anyway. The funny thing is, though, we have a lot of women who order that model for their guys because they’re in to that kind of slave and master relationship where they want the man to be feminized. We also have a lot of men who are curious about being transsexual and want just a taste of it. Then we also have transsexuals who order it to wear under their clothing and, you know, it looks like they have a vagina.

Like a day-to-day thing?
Yeah. We design them as sex-wear/swimwear, but a lot of people wear them daily. We have guys that start off ordering one, but then they’ll quickly order five more, so you can get an idea of what they’re doing with them.

What’s the ratio of gay to straight to transsexual men who are buying your stuff?
I’d say it’s a pretty interesting mix. It’s a guess on my part, but based on how many women we seem to get ordering those and how many men that talk about their wives, I would say that probably 50% are straight.

Wow.
I know. Then it’s probably 25% gay/bisexual and the rest transsexuals.

Where in the world is your stuff most popular?
We do a lot of sales in the States, the real hotspots being southern California, Florida, and New York.

Why’s that?
Well, you know, they’re almost like different countries when it comes to attitude. The whole Bible Belt region is like a different world to the coasts.

So you wouldn’t go down too well if you moved your business there, then?
Oh, no–we still sell a ton to the Midwest. But, we’re most popular in Germany, the UK, Japan, and, amazingly enough, China.

Why do you think there aren’t more men wearing bikinis?
I have a feeling that a lot of guys feel like you’re gay if you wear something like that. Although, I know loads of straight guys who have tried one of the suits on then end up shaving, cleaning themselves up, and getting a great tan, rather than a tan that starts below your knees. I’ve been to Europe plenty of times and I know it’s completely different to the States, in that respect. I mean, I have friends there who say, “If you see someone walking down the beach in board shorts, they’re almost definitely American.”

I don’t know about that–you’ve obviously never been down to Newquay on a summer’s day.
Ha ha. Yeah, I guess. But, I mean board shorts are starting to fade away more and more because they really are kinda silly. That being said, I think it’s a matter of overcoming fears of what other people will think, but once we convert them, they stay converted. It’s hard to go back.

The Suspended Penetration suit

How many people have you personally converted?
You know, it’s funny, I wear them exclusively at the beach now. I go to more progressive beaches, like Venice, and there are a lot of guys wearing thongs and bikinis. But I wear, like, ultra g-strings, where I’m just waiting for the police to come and pull me over, but they never bother me. Anyway, I have people–men and women–come up to me the whole time and ask me where I got my swimwear because they want to try it out themselves.

I guess there’s so much sexy stuff out there for women that when people see sexy menswear, they get kind of excited. 
Right. Well, we’ve been doing it for 16, 17 years and we’re more of a year-round company, compared to other swimwear brands, because half of our business is classed as mens lingerie and sex-wear. Our sex-wear is just as hot as our swimwear because we design products that enhance the sexual experience, whether you’re gay, straight, bi, confused, solo, whatever.

What’s your design process? How do you get new ideas for each product?
Well, I receive requests from customers all over the world, but a lot of it is just things I like, you know? Something that I feel would look good, something that feels good to wear, especially with sex stuff, like… can I be as nasty as I want?

Of course.
OK. Well, if a design gives me a great hard-on, and makes my cock look fantastic, that’s kind of the process. It’s all just about stuff I like. I started the company because I was having custom swimwear made for myself and it was such a pain in the ass. I’d have to run down to the place that used to make it for me half a dozen times to make sure they got it right and it was still never perfect, so I thought, “God. I could do this perfectly.” I just didn’t know there was a market for it.

Irresistibly Wet bikini

And there obviously is.
Well, as it turns out, there is indeed. I think we create a fair bit of that market ourselves, though, because we have people looking at our site all over the world who say they never knew anything about stuff like it, but that they now want it desperately.

Yeah, I definitely wasn’t even aware of the concept of male sex swimwear until a friend linked me to your site.
Right, exactly. We go off on tangents, but we have a lot of suits that have anal insertion parts to them. I mean, it’s pretty funky having a swimsuit that goes up your butt. We have this product called an Ass Spark and it’s a combination of a cock ring and an anal plug, but those two parts actually hold the suits together, and they’ve been the hottest suits we’ve ever made. I’m sure there are plenty of gay guys buying them, but there are many straight guys too, because I think it’s becoming a little less taboo.

What, cock rings and anal plugs?
Yeah, sure. We’ve had a lot of European models who say, like, “Oh, yeah, I’d do anal, it’s no big thing.” You know, it’s not so taboo in Europe, but in the States it’s still a taboo. The guys are way more uptight, but I think some are starting to loosen up.

And you’re at the forefront of helping people do that, so well done. Is there anyone you look up to in the existing world of sex swimwear?
You know, I don’t think there’s anyone out there doing quite what we’re doing. There’s companies that I really like who may not be doing fetish swimwear, but they’re really into fetish generally. That would be, like, The Stockroom, which I think you have in Europe. They’re really crazy. They do toys and parts and some of their toys give me ideas for new designs. Like, I’ll see something they’re making and think, “Oh, I could use that plug in a sex suit,” or, “That would be a good way to hide the shaft and balls in a swimsuit,” you know?

What design are you most excited about out of the next load of stuff you’re releasing?
Oh my God. Well, we have thirteen new things coming out, but I’d say it’s one of the sex suits. It’s like an over the shoulder, penis-stretching, hard-on arousing, anal-inserted design that we just know guys are going to go crazy about. You put it on and you get hard.

JAMIE CLIFTON