This Couple Wants to Have Separate ‘His and Her’ Weddings

Wedding planning can certainly be stressful, with so many things to agree on: location, decor, ceremony, vows. But what if you just…. didn’t?

Separate “his and hers” weddings can be a thing, at least, according to Reddit. (So, a grain of salt along with your rice.)

One user, who goes by Repulsive_Pepper_957, posted to r/weddingshaming about their sister-in-law’s unconventional plans for her big day.

“Cliffnotes version is: she wants a small wedding, he wants a big wedding. Instead of compromising or working together they’re each having their own wedding. They each have their own venue, staff hired, etc,” they wrote.

The poster went on to explain that, because the couple couldn’t agree on having a destination wedding or one closer to home, they decided on both, doubling the commitment and cost for their friends and family.

“Yes, we’re expected to attend both, yes, they have two different registries (one for each wedding),” they noted.

“They seem to be a solid relationship, but this seems to counteract the whole idea of marriage? Like if it’s about both of you joining together, why are you each having your own separate thing? Please tell me I’m not delusional lol.”

Is It Selfish to Have Two Weddings?

While some commenters shared their own experience with a double wedding—some even having done it themselves—others balked at the idea. Especially egregious, they seemed to agree, was the extended travel and expectation of two gifts.

“Dumbest, most self-centered thing I have ever heard,” wrote one commenter. 

“That’s insane,” agreed another. “They’re grifters conducting a massive money grab.”

Most seemed to agree that it made sense to have a local wedding for those unable to travel to the destination nuptials, however, the poster replied and said that they were expected to attend both.

“[My sister-in-law] is being just a teeny bit bonkers and has thrown temper tantrums over it already.”