Tortoise

Tech

Scientist Captures First-Ever Footage of a Tortoise Committing Grisly Murder

08.23.21

By Becky Ferreira
Tech

Giant Tortoise Feared Extinct Reappears After 113 Years

02.21.19

By Becky Ferreira
Tech

Give Yourself a Brain Massage With 10 Straight Hours of Ocean Footage

05.31.18

By Becky Ferreira
Tech

Shelly the Tortoise Is Here to Stop Kids From Beating Up Robots

03.15.18

By Becky Ferreira
Tech

Renegade Giant Tortoise Found in Bushes Outside Zoo After Two Weeks on the Lam

08.16.17

By Becky Ferreira
Tech

How One Highly Fuckable Tortoise Saved His Entire Species from Extinction

09.14.16

By River Donaghey
Sports

The VICE Sports Guide To Coach Jams

04.28.16

By Jeff Johnson, Alex Balk & David Roth
Food

The Real Paleo Diet Included Tortoise Meat

02.02.16

By Alex Swerdloff
Music

Tortoise’s John Herndon on Skate Rock, Tattooing, and His Latest Collab

01.17.16

By Anthony Pappalardo
Music

Tortoise Return with a Full US Tour and Their First LP in Seven Years

10.06.15

By Noisey Staff
Tech

Zoo Livestreams Are Taking Over Unused Gaps in the Broadcast Spectrum

10.10.14

By Victoria Turk
Sex

This World Famous Pianist Tried to Get Tortoises to Bone Each Other

02.08.13

By Oscar Rickett

The Latest

Photo: puhhha / Getty Images

Life

Man Injects Himself With $560,000 Worth of Fillers for Fake 8-Pack Abs

He claims his body is now 20 percent gel. Yum.

44 minutes ago

By Ashley Fike
Photo: SDI Productions / Getty Images

Life

Rich People Are Getting ‘Ski Bunny Face’ Before Their Winter Trips

2 hours ago

By Ashley Fike
Photo: dardespot / Getty Images

Life

This Guy Faked a Car Theft to Avoid Going Shopping With His Wife

Traded an afternoon of errands for a criminal charge and a permanent record.

3 hours ago

By Ashley Fike
Photo: USGS

Life

Scientists Say This Giant Deep-Sea Volcano Won’t Erupt Until 2026—Probably

It’s probably fine.

4 hours ago

By Ashley Fike
Photo: Steven Puetzer / Getty Images

Life

Is the Flow of Time Nothing But an Illusion?

What if time is, like, only in our minds, man?

5 hours ago

By Ashley Fike