“Beige flags are signs on dating app profiles that the person behind the profile is probably fucking boring.”
A Tinder dude essentially didn't leave my house for two weeks... in hindsight they were probably homeless and not in fact avoiding the Russian mafia.
"It’s not worth my time to have disappointing sexual experiences."
There are much more fun ways to start—and maintain—a conversation besides "how are you holding up lol."
"If you end up with somebody through this thing, it's ride or die—this is how you find your wartime consigliere."