How to Get Donald Trump's Hair
An illustrated guide.
Illustration: Dan Evans
Since long before he became President, speculation has raged around the hair on Donald Trump's head. Is it real? Yes, apparently. "Thin, but real," according to one woman Trump invited to touch his hair at a rally in 2015, presumably hoping to put those vicious toupee rumours to bed.
Barbara Walters also copped a feel, as did Jimmy Fallon and an audience member at another rally. And all said the hair appears to be real – so yes, fine, we can agree on that. However, the President has never been properly interrogated about what that real hair is hiding; whether it has been strategically arranged to mask a bald spot, or if it's just business as usual underneath.
If Trump has a bald spot, fine: he's 71. Men lose their hair. It's not a big deal. What is a big deal is the potential concealment by a world leader – a charge backed up by two recent pieces of evidence:
- From Michael Wolff's Fire and Fury, a passage recounting Ivanka Trump's description of her father's comb-over: "She often described the mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate – a contained island after scalp-reduction surgery – surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the centre and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray."
- This video from yesterday where a gust of wind blows Trump's hair upwards and all you can see is scalp:
Anyway, after Trump's supposed hair-styling regime was unveiled in Fire and Fury, Dan Evans – one of our favourite illustrators – drew a four-step illustrated guide speculating what that regime might look like. Feel free to keep this on file for personal reference.
This article originally appeared on VICE UK.