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Someone Is Mercilessly Attacking Portland's Power Lines with Dildos

Some Portland vigilante is throwing pairs of dildos over telephone wires like rubber dick nunchucks.

by River Donaghey
Jul 14 2015, 6:20pm

Thumbnail image via Flickr user Christina Xu.

Read: Portland, Oregon, Is a Paradise

Someone in Portland has been slinging massive numbers of dildos over the city's telephone wires. The dildos are tied together in groups of two, like a pair of old shoes or sexy nunchucks, and then lofted high in the air to find their final resting place on a power line.

According to Reuters, Several Portland residents have reported sightings to the Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement, either because they are party poopers or they're worried the big rubber dicks are going to start a fire somehow, although a spokesman from Portland General Electric said that the dildos aren't exactly a fire hazard.

One Portland resident, Lucila Cejas Epple, told Reuters she first saw the sex toys dangling above a neighborhood street fair last weekend, but the rubber peens have been hanging down over busy streets like phallic mistletoe since at least June, when this YouTube video—appropriately titled "Portland is dildos"—went up online.