We keep reviewing the TV but it doesn’t seem to listen.

How Murdoch Ran Britain
C4
Monday 25 July
9PM
(Watch it here)
According to this documentary, Rupert Murdoch used to run Britain. But he didn’t do a good job, because crime has risen steadily on his watch, and inflation remains high. He’s yet to solve the long-term problem of a pervasive benefits culture, and he hasn’t managed to extract better value from the railway system. Which is why we’ve had an Arab Spring recently, led by a grassroots movement of politicians gathering in the House Of Commons to bore the ex-Australian into submission. Now they’re saying that they are going to have a go at running the country themselves. Good luck with all that, but in truth I’m not sure these naïve little wets are up to it.
6
STILL ILLIBAND

Regional TV: Life Through A Local Lens
BBC4
Wednesday 20 July
9PM
(Watch it here)
“I’ve brought you some beer and sandwiches,” announces a young Angela Rippon to a tramp so filth-brown he appears to be made from wood. As she sits down by his roadside hovel, intent on interviewing him for a short local news colour piece, it becomes apparent that Life Through A Local Lens is a nostalgic journey to a happier TV universe – a place where everyone knows tramps really love beer and they don’t have to pretend to be worried about that. These days, the howling matrons of the new Reithianism would force that tramp to change his life whether he liked it or not; arranging his stay at Fat Camp before scheduling appointments with Gok Wan, The Fairy Jobmother, Gillian McKeith, Trinny, Mary Queen Of Shops, Susannah, Sarah Beeny and Don’t Get Done Get Dom. By week seven, that tramp would have been turned into David Sneddon. Not cool.
8
ANN FINALLY

Around The World In 60 Minutes
BBC2
Sunday 24 July
7PM
(Watch it here)
Show in which the glories of the earth are revealed over the course of a 90-minute orbit of the space shuttle. Among other factoids, we learn that every shuttle launch costs half a billion dollars, and each space suit costs $30 million, so I wondered whether shutting down the shuttle permanently last week was a worthwhile saving, or a false economy. Turns out even NASA have difficulty justifying what they’re doing in space. According to their website, technology developed for space travel has resulted in the invention of such vital products as: the cordless drill, the dustbuster, the water filter and scratch-proof sunglasses. None of which could have been independently invented without the need to propel 78 tons of metal into orbit. Now that it’s been canned, we may never develop the automatic cereal bowl, the electric tennis shoe, the miniature door key or the personal toaster. We are much the poorer.
5
YURI GARGLIN’

Show Me The Funny
ITV
Monday 25 July
9PM
(Watch it here)
Nine remaining comedians are sent to a military base full of Scots Guards, to perform material for an audience composed entirely of squaddies. Because this is reality TV, they first have to compete in physical fitness tests to decide the gig running order. And because they are quote-unquote “comedians”, this means that one of them – Cole – decides it will be like, totally hilarious, to cut a hole in his combat trousers, so that his arse is in full view as he marches out onto the parade ground. At this point, you realise that nothing in the next 45 minutes will be as amusing as watching him try to explain to Malcolm Tucker’s more vituperative drill sergeant brother why he has vandalised his government-issued property. As Cole wibbles, squirms and generally waits for the ground to swallow him up, this hatchet-faced Glaswegian makes him explain what, exactly, is the precise source of humour here. If drill sergeants sat on select committees, we’d get to the bottom of this Murdoch business quicker than Tom Watson can get to the bottom of one of those ice creams with a bubblegum hidden in it.
7
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT