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Look At This Hilariously Botched Drug Smuggling Attempt

You can almost hear the lowly mules--both of whom fled the scene--cry out in that sort of self-deprecating _God damnit_ that only comes when you know you really fucked up.

You can almost hear the lowly mules—both of whom fled the scene—cry out in that sort of self-deprecating God damnit that only comes when you know you really fucked up.

I’ve written a bit about Mexican drug cartels and their relentless, stop-at-nothing approach to moving drugs into the States. The insane returns these groups stand to net bring out some truly inventive DIY smuggle tech, which are notable as much for their slick specs as they are for their sheer crudeness. For every $1 million narco sub, unmanned dune buggy, ultralight aircraft and climate-controlled tunnel, there’s a nondescript can of coke-stuffed peppers, or a weed catapult, or some poor sap with a bunch of contraband rammed up his bum. Tragically, all these methods have been, and remain remarkably successful at providing America with a good deal of its cocaine, marijuana, and increasingly, meth and heroin.


But every so often the whole thing goes to pot. Maybe the border patrol shows up and shuts the whole thing down. More often it’s a tiny, albeit critical oversight in an otherwise airtight smuggling op that costs some capo a lot of money and product and maybe even the runner his life. (A bust here or there is pittance in the grand scheme, of course. But, still.) Take this Jeep that got itself “high-centered” on the fence near the Yuma, Arizona border, earlier this week. The geniuses behind this attempt, with their ramshackle ramps, apparently didn’t account for the seemingly perfect acute angle formed by the ramps at the top of the fence, which stands 14-feet tall. The Feds have since confiscated both Jeep and ramp. No word yet on what the vehicle was hauling, or what happened to the goods.

Lesson learned, I guess?

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Reach Brian at @thebanderson