“Swallow the thing and then for ten hours BANG the feeling inside your stomach BANG insanity BANG joy BANG horror BANG elation BANG extasy BANG BANG pain BANG BANG BANG BANG.”
The description above is how you’ll feel after ingesting Audiopill, a so-called “experimental art device” developed by Czech artist Jan Poope—real name Jan Strmiska. According the website for the product, the Audiopill is ingested orally and creates “a feeling like you are standing in the middle of a concert hall with a powerful audio-system” inside your own body. With tempo settings ranging from 95-145 BPM, the Audiopill takes about an hour to make it through the upper section of your gastrointestinal tract once swallowed, followed by “very intensive” effects in your pelvic area. After that potentially painful segment (“You may for a while regret your experimental courage,” the website notes) you will feel a beating pulse inside your abdomen, creating a feeling of “restlessness, amazement, and elation.” In layman’s terms, taking the pill will create a 10-hour rave inside your entire body. The pill has no off-switch, and there’s no escaping its wrath.
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According to the Indiegogo crowdfunding Poope made for the Audiopill, the device is something of an offshoot of an Italian medical device called Sirio, designed to heal injuries of the musculoskeletal system using low-frequency ultrasound waves. Poope developed the Audiopill to harness a side effect of Sirio—”Whistling sounds within the patient’s head”—to create vibrations inside you body. Right now, via Indiegogo, you can secure a handmade prototype of Audiopill for 120 euros. The product comes available in two colors—”Clear Empty Space” (unisex) and “Juicy Juicy Juicy pink” (for girls)—along with three preset beats: 95 BPM for tracks like “No Pussy Blues,” 130BPM for fans of Die Antwoord, and 143 BPMS for lovers of M.I.A.
If all this sounds extremely dangerous, don’t worry: Poope himself notes that during development of the device, doctors advised him that people should “never swallow anything like this.” 48 hours after ingesting the device, he suggests, you should examine your own shit to make it sure the pill has made it through safely.
We’re not quite sure if this entire thing is one giant troll—and if Poope AKA Strmiska should get a Nobel Prize, or just a one-way ticket to a mental asylum. Either way, this just made our Monday. What a time to be alive!