This $25 'Attack of the Clones' Remake Is Better Than the Prequels
The low-budget remake somehow manages to sell those wooden romance lines better than Natalie Portman.
Attack of the Clones had a lot going for it: It showed us the beginning of Anakin's downfall, it was a chance to finally see the Clone Wars, it even had a Boba Fett origin story subplot. But, good lord, was it a mess. The whole thing looked like a PS2 cutscene, Hayden Christiensen was somehow a worse actor than Jake Lloyd, Boba was a punk-ass little kid, and the movie's main villain had a flaccid lightsaber.
Thankfully, we will never have to subject ourselves to the horrors of the original Attack of the Clones again, because some kids just made what George Lucas never could—a version of Episode II that's actually enjoyable to watch.
On Tuesday, a guy named Tim Hoekstra released his full-length remake of Attack of the Clones starring his friends. It's over two hours long and recreates just about every scene from the movie, sometimes shot for shot, using toy lightsabers, bad wigs, and what appears to be someone's parents' two-car garage.
Sure, Hoekstra's version is maybe a little hard to follow if you don't know the original already, but Attack of the Clones barely makes sense on its own.
This is the second time Hoekstra and his pals have remade an entire Star Wars movie from scratch, following a brilliant Revenge of the Sith remake that reenacted the entire climactic Anakin/Obi-Wan fight scene on a beach at low tide or whatever. This new one doesn't have as many iconic moments as the first, but the low-budget remake of Clones drastically improves on that wack-ass battle between Dooku and Yoda and, somehow, manages to sell those wooden romance lines better than Natalie Portman. The arena scene is also particularly transcendent.
"The entire film was once again shot on a Samsung J5 and our total budget was $25," Hoekstra wrote about the new remake. "All the props were junk we had lying around... our main motivation was to have some fun and hang out."
Well, sure, yeah, all that fun and hanging out is what made this version so much better than George Lucas's overly serious drek, but come on, man—it's time to focus and get moving on a Last Jedi remake, because the world needs to see how you'll tackle that Luke milking scene.
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