Dear Vice,
This is that photo I was telling you about. This kid was wasted in the parking lot of a Green Day concert at Giants stadium. We told him he had to do something good for a picture if he wanted a free t-shirt. He goes, “I’ve got the biggest balls in the world! Does that get me a free shirt? Look at these…”

He said he’s getting them drained. I guess beating off didn’t work. He got some shitty ass yellow t-shirt for Chris Rock’s TV show.

ALLEN YING