5 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Partner

No matter what anyone might say, a small level of uncertainty is common in relationships. Just because you experience doubts from time to time does not mean you need to break up with your partner. 

However, there are certain indications that your relationship is on the fritz. Here are five tell-tale signs the relationship with your partner is no longer serving you.

1. You don’t feel safe or secure with them.

Safety and security are crucial in a healthy and lasting relationship. Your partner is supposed to make you feel loved and accepted, not judged or criticized. If you’re constantly on edge, trying to appeal to this person rather than simply being yourself, that’s a clear sign your relationship isn’t serving you.

In your romantic relationship, you should feel respected and free to be exactly who you are. A partner who side-eyes everything you do, constantly puts you down, or continuously pushes your boundaries, you’ll never feel truly emotionally safe.

Additionally, security within a relationship is essential to maintaining a healthy connection. If your partner invalidates your needs, shuts down conversations about the future, or makes you feel like you’re temporary, this is breeding grounds for insecurity—both in yourself and the relationship 

2. They’re not your go-to person.

While your partner shouldn’t be your one and only source of support, they should certainly be one of your go-to people. Ask yourself: Is your significant other one of the first people you want to call when you’re having a bad day? What about when you get exciting news? If the answer is no, this is a major red flag.

According to Mark Travers, Ph.D., in his Psychology Today article on this topic, “One of the most fundamental aspects of a close relationship is emotional sharing: turning to your partner first when something important happens.”

“It could be exciting news, a thought that’s been bothering them, or a challenge they need help with,” he continued. “No matter what they’re sharing, secure partners instinctively seek one another as a source of support, encouragement, or to revel in the moment.”

If this isn’t the case in your relationship, it might be time to reevaluate your connection.

3. There’s no friendship at the core of your relationship.

Your significant other does not need to be your best friend out of everyone in your life, but you should have a foundation of friendship under all the romantic parts of your relationship. Is your partner someone you can laugh with? Cry with? Can you enjoy the simplest moments with them, like grocery shopping or driving around town? Do they have your back like your childhood friend does?

If your relationship is built mainly on lust, chemistry, and sexual attraction, it likely won’t make it far. 

4. You feel more resentment than love.

Resentment—if left unaddressed—is poison, both to the individual and the relationship.

“Resentment, when nurtured within us, can become a breeding ground for self-doubt, leading us into the treacherous traps of gaslighting ourselves,” said psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD in a Cleveland Clinic article. “This means we distort our own perceptions, question our worth, and allow others to manipulate our reality as we hold onto these feelings.”

This is extremely toxic within a relationship. If you feel like you resent your partner more than you love them—or even just as much—it’s a sign your connection is not serving you. That doesn’t mean you need to immediately call things off, but it certainly warrants a heart-to-heart conversation.

5. There’s a lack of intimacy.

It’s common for lovers to feel disconnected from time to time, especially in longterm relationships. However, if there is no sort of intimacy in your relationship, this can lead to unmet needs and detachment.

A lack of intimacy doesn’t just mean you’re no longer having sex. In fact, other forms of physical touch like cuddling and holding hands can be just as important. 

Additionally, emotional intimacy is crucial to maintaining a healthy connection. If you’re not having engaging conversations or prioritizing quality time together, you’re likely not genuinely connecting.