Does Height Really Matter When You’re Dating?

There’s a Cosmopolitan essay going around about the annoyance of men on dating apps who list their height, followed by the line “because apparently that matters.”

Now, look…I like to view situations from every perspective. I understand that a lot of men are probably tired of superficial preferences preventing them from getting matches on the dating apps. Rest assured, women feel the same way. 

We are all held to nearly impossible standards before we even have the chance to meet each other in person. It’s exhausting.

That being said, that kind of snarky intro definitely doesn’t set the best tone for many daters. 

Whenever I’d come across the dreaded “because apparently that matters” on a dating app, I’d already feel some sort of hostility from the man toward women who have preferences. That was my reason for swiping left.

No thanks.

Let’s Talk About Height and Dating

Now, when you type that line out, you might mean it as a joke. But it’s nearly impossible to gauge someone’s humor or tone through a dating app. 

And for many of these bio-writers, it’s actually more of a snide remark.

“What men are passive-aggressively responding to with ‘[height], because apparently that matters,’ is the belief that women will only date men if they meet a certain height standard,” wrote Kayla Kibbe, Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, in her article. “This overgeneralization is widespread enough to be (unfortunately) mainstream at this point, but it’s rooted in the same incel-coded ethos lurking in darker corners of the internet.

‘No one wants to date a guy under 6 feet’ is ‘no one wants to date a nice guy’–adjacent—a one-line distillation of the entitlement to women and sex that patriarchy promises straight men and their frustration when they can’t cash that check.”

Now, as the investigative journalist I am (could you pick up on my sarcasm through the screen?), I turned to Reddit to further explore this concept. In doing so, I found a post on r/Tinder from two years ago, simply titled: “If I see another guy bio with ‘6 ft bc that matters apparently…’” 

The discourse under this thread was actually pretty productive. 

One person wrote: “I speak from the standpoint of being 6 ft, but I totally agree. This obsession we’ve created with height in our dating culture is wild. All you have to do is be confident and accept that sometimes people will have tastes different from your own. You don’t have to take that personally.”

The Reddit user then went on to add, “All that said, try not to judge these boys too harshly. They may have gotten burned by it in the past, and so they feel like they have to include it. Idk, I always try to be a little empathetic…..but then if they are are whiny baby fuck em haha.”

Another made a great point: “It’s actually crazy how often I see this exact thing in women’s bios. It’s like, why the hell are we all doing this if nobody likes it?”

Now, let’s get one thing straight: Many of my female friends do prefer a taller man. Tons of women want to date someone who has at least a few inches on them, if not more.

On the other hand, I also have a friend who’s 5’10 and can literally care less about a guy’s height. In fact, she’ll often date men who are shorter than her. 

And I, standing at 5’7, have mostly dated men under 6 ft (and I mean, inches under 6ft). I would never be turned off by someone shorter than me.

But again, we all have our preferences. If a woman wants a jacked man over 6 ft, so be it! If a man wants a petite woman under 5’3, great! There’s no right or wrong when it comes to attraction. What matters is matching someone you align with and are compatible with. 

So…sure, height matters to some people. But if you’re looking for someone to whom it doesn’t matter, you probably won’t find them by being butthurt about it.
Word of advice (for any dater out there): lose the attitude. That’s the actual turnoff.