Imagine this: you meet someone on a dating app, out at the bar, or at your local coffee shop, and there’s an instant spark. You chat for a bit, set up a date, and form a romantic connection. One date becomes three, three dates become regular hangouts, and regular hangouts become sleepovers at each other’s apartments multiple nights per week.
Before you know it, you’re in a healthy, fulfilling, committed relationship—or so it seems. But then, out of nowhere, you never see or hear from this person again. Welcome the absolute hell of “ghosting.”
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If you’re online at all these days, you’ve likely heard of this disturbing breakup tactic. Basically, ghosting entails ending a relationship or connection with someone without any sort of communication. In other words, the person just… turns into a ghost of sorts. They might block you on every social media platform or simply just never respond to your messages again.
If you’re on the receiving end of ghosting, you might—naturally—feel a sense of panic, wondering what went wrong or whether the person is even alive. You might have hundreds of questions that unfortunately will never get answered, seeking a closure that simply doesn’t exist—all while the other person avoids all accountability.
They don’t even give you the respect of a conversation or explanation, leaving you doubting everything you felt and experienced with them.
How to Deal With Being Ghosted
According to Psychology Today, “People respond to being ghosted in many ways, from feeling indifferent to deeply betrayed. Some believe that ghosting is inseparably intertwined with modern electronic communication, and the practice is a way to cope with the decision fatigue that can accompany dating. Others believe that ghosting is emotionally troubling given that it offers no sense of closure.”
Now, I want to clarify that “ghosting” to me only applies to more serious relationships. If you matched on a dating app and spoke for a few days, and that other person just stopped responding, I wouldn’t consider that ghosting. Sometimes, things just fizzle out.
But if you’ve developed an actual connection with the person—fit with future plans and expectations—then I believe that person owes you an explanation before just dipping out, so to speak.
‘Ghosting’ Is Cowardly—and It Emotionally Destroys the Other Person
Ghosting often has nothing to do with the ghostee and everything to do with the ghoster’s discomfort with or aversion to confrontation and conflict.
Online, you’ll find a million videos and articles detailing how to appropriately respond to ghosting—but I’m not here to tell you what to do. What I can say is that being ghosted can illicit some dark feelings and, for lack of better words, fuck with your head for a while.
I think we often blame ourselves for not handling breakups in the “right” way—even when we’re actually on the receiving end of disrespectful, cruel, and borderline abusive behavior. To develop such an intimate connection with someone and then never hear from them again with zero heads up is bound to drive anyone a little mad.
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