We thought it’d be a good idea to go to the Parisian suburbs and find out how people were feeling after Nicolas Sarkozy – who referred to French ghetto youths as “scum” – emerged as a frontrunner in the national elections. We asked them what they would do if he were elected. Well, they kept saying “Fuck Sarko” and promised they’d wage “total war” and cause a “fucking state of emergency.” We got all excited because there hasn’t been a decent riot in France so far this year.

But although Sarkozy won the first round of the elections, the rioters failed to deliver. Last night we went back to Clichy-Montfermeil (epicentre of the 2005 riots) and all we found was one burning car and a bunch of 13 year olds hanging around. After two hours we got bored, and went home. Meanwhile, our friend Romain Kourtrajmé was at Place de la Bastille where a bunch of hippies played cat and mouse with the police. Très fatigué.

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